The other day, I was talking with like-minded people about the question on what is holding us back from living our dreams, reaching our goals, being happy, etc., etc.,…. and the more one is sensitive, the more this can play a role.
Later then, I received some more answers from the Angels, explaining that some more things that are holding us back, are based on old beliefs. And these unconscious beliefs were still telling us that we were not allowed to be more happy than our loved ones, because we would have to be loyal to them: and as long as they were unhappy, we could not really be happy.
This answer and explanation made me wondering: do we really not allow ourselves to be happy, as long as we know that a person we love (father, mother, aunt, brother, sister, life partner) is somehow not happy? ?
Do we unconsciously suppress our own happiness and feelings of joy, in order to stay loyal to a loved one who for some reasons is unhappy?
Are there hidden, unconscious beliefs somewhere within us, telling us that we are not allowed to be more happy than our family members? Do they maybe even tell us that we do not deserve to be more happy than them?
I remember that as a child, I was a very good student – but one of my sibling struggled at school. And true: I was holding back my feelings of joy about my good news from school, because I did not want him to feel bad about himself.
What if the same pattern works in all other areas too? Are we hiding our feelings of joy and not expressing our happiness, because we do not want others to feel bad about themselves?
Are you holding back your talents and not showing your true gifts, because you do not want your loved ones to feel bad about themselves?
This is one thing that could hold us back from living all our potentials….
(Take a piece of paper and write down a list of things you always wanted to do, but did not yet do.)
But there is more, and this may be less easy to admit:
The number 2: There can be another belief that tells us we should not or that we are not allowed to be fully happy. And this one shows that some may even feel guilty when they start feeling happy. Do you know that feeling when something real great and real good starts showing up in your life — and the moment you start feeling happy, then suddenly it feels somehow “heavy” at the same time, telling you that you do not deserve it (( as long as other members of your family are unhappy)) ?
Are you feeling guilty about your own happiness, joy and success, because a person you love is living an unhappy life for some reasons? And because you love him/her/them, you first would like to make sure that they are happy….before allowing yourself to fully enjoy your own gifts, your deserved happiness and live your life to the fullest?
Imagine for a moment, just to try it, imagine what your life would look like, if this person would be living a happy life and you could see that he/she is just doing great. How would you feel differently about them and about your own success and live your life then?
And number 3 on the list is a little bit ugly, but I have observed it so many times. It is called jealousy and it starts sometimes before Kindergarten age. One child thinks it gets less love from the partents than the little brother or the little sister. This is where the first frustration and jealousy starts…
Now, let’s say you were that younger brother or sister and when you grew up, you were sensitive and could feel that jealousy over and over again. And from that, you could feel the frustration the older siblings made you responsible for. And so, they started making you responsible for their feelings of frustration, anger and unhappiness — and so you developed feelings of guilt. Over the years, this can become heavy and out of those feelings of guilt mixed with their jealousy, you may have developed the feelings that you do not deserve love, happiness and joy — not as long as they are so frustrated. And at the same time, you love them, but…..
And so, when getting older, you are still holding back your happiness, playing smaller than you are, not showing your gifts, and hiding your light, your beauty….
Yes, it can happen that unconsiously we are still living in the shadow of one or two of these old beliefs.
But, what would happen if we put them aside? Yes, one of the first feelings that come to surface in the moment we think about putting these old beliefs aside, is a sort of fear. Because when, for the first time of our lives, we allow ourselves to express our joy, show our light and our gifts — there comes the question of self-worth we were also scared of: do we deserve it?
And this is reason nr 4: the feeling to really deserve it. If a person you love, a family member, a loved one, a life partner, is going through some personal issues and difficult times — do you then still feel that you do deserve to be happy ? Many people don’t. They feel that as long as that other person is going through so difficult or painful experiences, they themselves can not deserve to be happy at the same time.
Now, let us look at this: You deserve to be happy. You are allowed to be successful. You serve this world and people around you a lot better, when you let your light shine.
You are not responsible for other peoples frustration, their issues, their karma, their choices or their feelings. Once grown up, everybody must learn to take care of himself. Everybody is only responsible for himself. You can now stop giving your power away. You ARE free now!!
If one of these old beliefs has been holding you back, you may now first need to train yourself to feel worthy and to feel that you really do deserve to be happy. If during the last 20 years of your life, you did not feel that you deserve joy, abundance, happiness and wealth, this may be new for you. But once you can FEEL it, then you can create it too. Have compassion with yourself.
And it is NOT love if people around you do not want you to be happier than what they are. It is not love if they are jealous and not able to share your joy with you. It is not love if they make you feeling guilty. And it is not love if they are holding you back from living your real potentials.
You deserve to be happy and successful.
You deserve to be happy in a loving relationship with a wonderful partner.
You deserve to live in a wonderful and beautiful house in a nice neighborhood.
You deserve to fulfill your dreams and follow your own heart.
You deserve to live in abundance, wealth, health and freedom.
You deserve to have an activity where you are appreciated and that gives you true inner fulfillment.
People who truly love you will support you, motivate you, encourage you and share your joy with you.
So please, stop hiding.
Stop holding back your gifts.
Let your light shine.
With blessings and love,
Jeanne