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Spiritual Awakening in Recovery

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By Colby Maynard

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.”
(Alcoholics Anonymous: Big Book pg. 64)

The root of the insanity and disease of the addict is a spiritual malady. In other words, the addict lacks in any spiritual connection to a power greater than himself. Typically spirituality becomes confused with religion. The idea that spirituality requires religion must be smashed. Often times the negative connotations associated with religion are due to past experiences, guilt, shame, or remorse. Whatever the reason, lack of spirituality can be detrimental to recovery. While under the influence of drugs/alcohol most addicts feel disconnected, alone, and unworthy. Upon getting sober, moments that may have passed by or absent are now noticeable daily occurrences. Indulging in the simplicity of hearing the birds chirp in the morning, enjoying the breeze, or even singing along to a favorite song, can bring pleasurable experiences often forgotten and unappreciated by the addict. These moments combined with other experiences can lead to one having a spiritual awakening. This is a pivotal time in anyone’s life.

For a recovering drug addict, the spiritual awakening can be the difference between life and death. Addicts are selfish and self-centered by nature, despairingly focusing on their own depravity of connectedness. Finding a spiritual connection, embracing it and allowing it to evolve can make sobriety much easier. It’s hard to define a spiritual awakening. Upon building a spiritual connection, it’s important to remember that there is no “cookie cutter” experience. Most importantly, the addict will experience spirituality as it is individually appropriate.

Spirituality vs. Religion

The word “spirituality” can turn a lot of people off from certain recovery programs. Often times, individuals directly associate spirituality with organized religion. The truth is, spirituality and religion are very different things. When someone is religious it often times means they belong to an established religious order. Very different from spirituality, this misconception frequently pushes the addict away from surrendering to the idea of finding and establishing a relationship with a Higher Power. Spirituality is a much broader concept than religion. Most individuals do not have the same view on this idea. The freedom for varying perspectives and experiences is essential for the addict seeking recovery. When speaking in general terms spirituality refers to a sense of connection to something bigger and greater than ourselves. For most people, spirituality is connected to finding passion and regaining an individual sense of purpose. Spirituality is a universal human experience, something that touches and affects every human being. Those who have had a spiritual experience may describe it as sacred or transcendent. Others may put it more simply, as a deep sense of interconnectedness to the world achieving inner peace.

Having A Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual awakenings connect addicts to a new part of the soul and spirit that most have been disconnected from for years. We are born into a society that values materials and finances above most other things. Success has been defined as individual achievements rather than considering the overall prosperity of humankind. This selfishness is taken to extremes when the person in question is a drug addict or alcoholic. A spiritual awakening is not always an overnight matter. A compilation of significant spiritual experiences, to an individual, can induce a spiritual awakening. The ability to view all living things as equals is one of the most important symptoms of a spiritual awakening. The future and the past become less important as an individual begins to focus on the present. An individual experiencing a spiritual awakening in recovery will become more conscious of those around them. The addict often feels a sense of unity and connectedness to the world, which can harvest empathy and compassion. For the addict this is especially important, humility and helpfulness become the foundation for a entirely new perspective.Those who are recovering from drug or alcohol abuse can greatly benefit from having a spiritual awakening. Even seemingly miniscule spiritual experiences can demolish close mindedness and ignorance while cultivating an individual’s sense of purpose.

As these experiences continue to occur an individual may experience a spiritual awakening of the educational variety. When someone who is recovering from drug or alcohol abuse has a spiritual awakening their chances of relapsing can decrease significantly. Replacing self centeredness with love and tolerance of others, can encourage the addict to be the best version of himself and ultimately aid in helping others achieve the same.


6 Ways To Make The Most Of Every Day

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Our lives are precious, but sometimes it might be hard to remember that, especially when each day seems to be exactly the same as the one before, or when we wish time and days away because we’re bored or want the next exciting thing to happen. In order to stop thinking like this, because it means we’re missing out on the here and now, we need to start understanding how to make the most of every single day, not just the ones that are full of excitement and adventure. Here are some ways to do that, and enjoy every moment as much as you can.

Get Up Early

To truly make the most of every day, you need to wake up as early because it’s good for you and you can appreciate that quiet time. Itis especially great if you are the first one up, as it is your chance to sit still and listen or look at the natural world around you. Even if you live in a big city, you’ll be able to watch the sunrise and listen to the world come alive if you are up early enough. Many people even find that they are at their most productive early in the morning. They can get a lot of work done and then enjoy a calmer, more peaceful day afterward without too much worry.

Sleep is hugely important, so we’re not advocating that you skip it in order to be up early enough to get more hours in your day. If you are planning to get up early, then it is wise to go to bed earlier so that you still get seven or eight hours’ sleep where possible.

Stress Less

When you stress about things and worry, you are not able to enjoy the moment you are in, and you can’t look forward either. Stress has a hugely detrimental effect on our health too, causing heart issues, high blood pressure, headaches, mental health problems, and even some forms of cancer, as studies have shown. Therefore, it makes sense for a huge number of reasons to stress a lot less.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but if you do find you are stressing about things, take the time to work out what those things are and come up with a plan of action to deal with them. Money issues are a big reason for stress, but you might be able to consolidate your debt if you go here and that can make paying it back much more manageable. If your job is your reason for being stressed, then you should look for a different one. If it’s your relationship then counseling, or even walking away, might be best for you. Life is too short to be miserable and worried, especially when, most of the time, those problems can be solved.

Eat Well

Our bodies need food; it is the fuel that helps us to run efficiently and healthily. That’s why it is so important to fill our bodies with the right kind of fuel, and not with junk food and sugary candies or soft drinks. Starting the day with a good, healthy breakfast is a great way to begin, as this will start your body working immediately. You will feel healthier for it and will be more productive throughout the day, especially if you ensure you have a good lunch and a well-balanced dinner.

It is also important to drink enough water throughout the day. Not being hydrated enough can cause headaches, even sickness, and it certainly makes us feel sluggish and uncomfortable, and that means it is difficult to make the most of every moment. Drinking enough could be the change that you needin your life, and it will happen as soon as you start.

Exercise

Exercise may not sound like fun, or like a good way to spend your precious time, but once you start incorporating it into your daily routine, you’ll soon see the difference. Exercising regularly makes people happier, more peaceful, more relaxed, and better able to solve any challenges that they come across during the day. This is partly down to hormones; exercise releases serotonin into the body which reduces the amount of cortisol (the ‘stress hormone’) and makes us feel good. It is also partly down to being able to see the results of exercise, both in terms offitness and weight loss and also regarding how productive your life will become. The great news is that you only need to exercise for 20 minutes each day to start noticing the difference.

Do One Big Task

There is always something to do, even on days when you might think you have no plans. It might be cleaning the oven or doing a big load of laundry. It might be applying for a new job. Perhaps it is joining an exercise class, or exploring your local community. Or it could be a project at work that needs to be at least started, if not completed. Whatever it is, make sure it is done before anything else. That way, you will always be able to accomplish one major task every day, and that will help you to feel better, and it also gets things done that you might have been putting off.

Make a list of all the things that need doing, and put them in order or priority. Then, each day, take the next task on the list and get it completed. Once that task is done, add another to the bottom of the list and so on. You’ll achieve so much in this way, and each day will become worthwhile.

Be Present

Have you ever had a day that you just can’t remember? Doesn’t it seem like it might have been a waste? These are the days when you’re just not present, and that is indeed a waste, which is a shame because it doesn’t have to be. Being present means not being distracted, engaging in conversation, looking people in the eye, enjoying the moment. Although watching TV and using social media can be fun, it should be saved for certain moments throughout the day, not done all day, as this means you are not present and you are not making the most of the day you have been given. Instead of checking Facebook, why not go out for a walk or paint a picture? You’ll enjoy it more, andyou will have a memory of the day too.

 

Q&A with Rafe Martin, from Before Buddha Was Buddha

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1. What is Before Buddha Was Buddha about and why did you write it?

Before Buddha Was Buddha shows that the Buddha started out just like us. He struggled with shortcomings, made mistakes, had to make difficult choices but, by working on himself and owning his errors, he matured to the full wisdom and compassion of Buddhahood. Drawing on forty-five years of Zen practice as well as on a lifetime of professional storytelling, I felt that it was time to make the point that to be like the Buddha means that we, too, should accept the challenges of our lives AS the Path, not see them as obstacles TO the Path. I also felt that the Buddhist jataka tales of the Buddha’s past lives can help us walk our own Path of realization today and that the time was ripe to re-introduce them as the serious and useful allies on the path of spiritual practice they actually are.

Additionally, Buddhist practice can seem separate from daily life. Zen can appear “monastic” in atmosphere and “samurai” in spirit. Jataka tales, past life stories of the Buddha, reveal the human heart of the traditionand help us develop a fully awake and alive Buddhist practice in our lives, just as we are. They bring Buddhist practice down to earth and can, in the process, help us live more fulfilling lives.

To sum up — The smiling Buddha on an altar is the image of someone who did the work, facing the life challenges that came his way. And, so, became, “The Buddha,” the Awakened One. Jataka tales—stories of the Buddha’s past lives—show that work in process, the decisions and efforts required to make it real. They show that difficulties were the foundation of his path, not obstacles to it. And they show that, just like us, the Buddha struggled and made mistakes. Engaged and active, these tales, which tradition holds were told by the Buddha himself, can, like Zen koans, help us realize and embody the Way. So, anything we’re dealing with today in our lives given the Buddha’s long path to full realization, he, in some life dealt with, too. Nothing then excludes us from the path of practice. We don’t have to become anything special or be different than what or who we are right now.

Zen does not ask us to get rid of ourselves or to become another, better, more spiritual self. Rather, we are asked to realize the self that is us to the very bottom, just as we are. The point is not to free us to do what we want when we want . . .The aim is to free us from ourselves . . .from our obsessive, habitual, compulsive, anxiously cramped interest in ourselves, in who we think we are, and what we think, or have been taught to think we want. Zen is not about contemplating navels. It is about releasing not just navels but eyes, ears, noses, tongues, bodies, minds. It is about realizing the freedom that has been ours from the start.”

2. The book talks about the challenges that the Buddha faced. What sort of challenges did the Buddha face and how did he struggle with them?

He faced lust, greed, and self-doubt, as well as various temptations to split and run and take an easier path. He faced into his own self-centeredness and defensiveness. He worked with and on his own shortcomings rather than trying to hide or escape from them. He faced his own wavering mind and numerous attachments as well as his own lack of inner strength, commitment, and will, as well as his own powerlessness in the face of the suffering he saw all around him. And in each case he did not turn from what he uncovered, but faced it unflinchingly and worked with it, improving as he went, two steps forward one step back. The positive aspects of such struggle lies in the willingness to face failures and shortcomings and then,rather than just moving on, trying again and again to do better until an error is overcome or a habit of selfishness or inattention is matured into a stepping stone toward greater wisdom and selflessness. The Bodhisattva (the Buddha in past lives on his way to Buddhahood) used what he found rather than trying to ignore his shortcomings. And so he matured.

3. The book also seems to humanize the Buddha.Could you talk a little bit about some of the more human qualities of the Buddha that most people might not know about?

See the above. He was just like us. He knew self-doubt, lust, temptations, attachment,hesitation to commit to what is best. All of it that we all know too well. The only difference, we might say, was a deep determination to become fully human,to mature fully, and to allow the deepest vow, the vow of the Bodhisattva to awaken and be of benefit to all, to come to the front in his actual life and not remain a distant ideal.

4. Many spiritual teachers talk about life being able to be peaceful or contentment, but don’t talk about the challenges or struggles we face. How can find peace and contentment in life eventhough we are facing serious challenges and struggles such as financial difficulties or relationship problems?

Without facing the issues and difficulties of our lives as well as the difficulties of the Path that we’ll encounter in spiritual training and practice, we may never fully mature, never become truly capable and less self-centered human beings, able to be of benefit to others. So without a degree of effort of dealing with and maturing through our difficulties how can we know real contentment? Often what we end up with is a kind of fragile peace that is all-to-easily threatened and disrupted by the painful and challenging things that inevitably happen in every life. Rather than settling into the peace that is there beneath everything, we can end up trying to preserve and protect the little bit of peace we’ve managed to gain. But such holding on is itself not peaceful.To find the peace that is our birthright we should follow a Path of practice, find a reliable teacher and a community of practice that can nourish and support our aspiration. And then, daily, we should meditate, keep at it in the midst of our difficulties, forge, moment by moment, a connection with real peace by being really present right there, right where thoughts arise and our difficulties can and must be faced.

5. What has been the most important spiritual lesson you have learned about yourself throughout your spiritual journey?

That what I call “myself” is both a lot less and a lot more than I thought. Also that by continuing on a path of spiritual practice understanding deepens and the capacity to act on that understanding becomes more accessible and natural. And that sometimes difficulties may be the very thing we need to get us to let go of old, outgrown habits and become more awake and fully alive. So,the most important lesson has been, “Don’t give up. Continue on!”

6. Anything else:

Some nice words from various Buddhist teachers and authors on Before Buddha Was
Buddha can be found at —

https://www.wisdompubs.org/book/buddha-was-buddha-0/praise

AND – for the latest Before Buddha Was Buddha: Learning From the Jataka Tales was just featured in Forbes on-line in an article on how to deal with Trump’s war on Truth!! How about that for the relevance of thejataka tales!!
https://www.forbes.com/sites/stephaniedenning/2018/07/31/dealing-with-president-trumps-war-on-truth/#42038c4773bc

About the author

Rafe Martin, founding teacher of Endless Path Zendo, Rochester,NY, began Zen practice in 1970, becoming a disciple of Philip Kapleau Roshi (ThreePillars of Zen) and the editor of his final books. After Roshi Kapleau’s retirement Rafe trained for several years with Robert Aitken Roshi. Completing the Diamond Sangha/Harada-Yasutani koan curriculum with Danan Henry Roshi, founder of the Zen Center of Denver, he was sanctioned by him to begin teaching in 2010, receiving full Dharma Transmission in 2016.

Rafe is also an award-winning author and internationally-known storyteller. He is the recipient of the Empire State Award for the body of hiswork, as well as multiple American Library Association Notable Book Awards and Parent’s Choice Gold Awards. He has been featured at such storytelling events as the Joseph Campbell Festival of Myth and Story, The Sierra Storytelling Festival, and the National Storytelling Festival. He is the father of two grownchildren and lives with his wife, Rose, in Rochester, NY.

Q&A with poet M.T. Ness, author of Glimpses and echoes from Nothing

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1. What are your poems about and why do you write them?

My poems are about life and especially what life is not. Since my childhood, I have been wondering about what human beings are doing and why they act like they do. I tried to figure this out and felt very stupid and like all adults are so clever. I was furthermore interested in the meaning of life.

I can still not figure out adults, but I’ve become more understanding why they do as they do. I am an adult too and have been looking into “some big black holes” in life. Since my teenage time, I have been reading lot of psychology and philosophy, which gave me lot of hope. I have considered many ideas and patterns. I have been very interested in Buddhism and I have through decades gone to lot of meetings and practiced meditation.

I have taught and written books about mindfulness. Most of my time as professional I have been working with people that are mentally ill, drug addicts, as well as criminals in jail. I can see when people have been training the mind, and when they know about philosophy and spirituality, it creates meaning for most drug addicts and criminals. They have too a hunger to see life from different perspectives, like I personally had from my youth. Why do I write poems? I think it suddenly just started. I haven´t viewed myself as someone who was writing poems.

2. What is the greatest spiritual lesson you have learned about yourself as a result of writing your poems?

I have experienced that some wisdom has been manifested in me, and that I have particularly studied The Advaita Vedanta from both Ramana Maharshi and Robert Adams (an American Saint, who I find very easy to understand, because of his western background – I can recommend everybody to read his absolutely amazing book “Silence of the heart”)
The Advaita Vedanta have brought me to the best understanding of consciousness, being and nonduality. The poems are making resonance when I send them out in the world. There are a lot of people that are relating to the poems. I have concluded that what I have learned and want to inspire others with is helpful some way or another

3. Where do you find inspiration for your poems and life in general?

I find, as told, inspiration in the Advaita Vedanta as well as daily life. When I meet people and when I meet my Self, I can connect to it and recognize it in all people.

4. How do you incorporate humor into your poems?

I have learned to be “easy going”. To not take things too seriously and that humor is good medicine as an “icebreaker” and to connect to others. The kind sort of humor.

5. What is the most inspiring poem you have read and why?

I think Rumi, in general, is the most inspiring poet I have read and I like many of his poems very much

6. Anything else?

I think that awareness of philosophy and spirituality is very important in daily life and not making it as a taboo point. My experience is that human beings need to take the question “Who am I” serious and being aware of just to be in no matter situation we experience in our life

12 Effective Ayurvedic Beauty Tips for Glowing Skin

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A glowing skin is a sign of beauty and elegance. It is also a symbol of balanced mental and physical health. And so, the ancient medicinal system of Ayurveda has blessed us with special tips and techniques for our skin to radiate and glow from within. Discover the most effective Ayurvedic Beauty tips for glowing skin here:

Go Vedic According to the Skin Constitution

Ayurveda stresses on designing the lifestyle habits according to the specific humor (Dosha or Constitution) of the body. Each and every tip circulates around this fact and its inference. Hence, test your skin for knowing its correct humor (whether Vata, Pitta, or Kapha) and devise a plan accordingly. Prepare your diet and skin-care regimen as per it. If you have a special inclination to dig deeper into the science of Ayurveda to independently prepare your diet and regimen according to the body humor then go for Ayurveda Training in Kerala India or Ayurvedic Cooking Course India and learn the art from the traditional masters of this discipline.

Pig Out on Water-Based Veggies and Fruits

This is applicable to all skin types. Keeping the skin hydrated via fruits and veggies is essential for rendering an inner glow to the skin. Hence, consume a diet that consists of more water-based fruits and vegetables. You may include cucumber, gourd, melon, etc.

Indulge in Pranayama Yoga

The ancient art of deep breathing is another powerful Ayurvedic technique to promote a healthy oxygenation of the blood vessels of the skin for it to warm and glow from its layers.

Meditate to Eliminate Stress

Stress is a major cause behind dulling of the skin in the contemporary scenario. Even if you cannot avoid a stress-landing situation, you can surely find a better way to manage it without harboring its negating impact on the body. Meditation is a proactive Ayurvedic beauty tip for countering this condition.

Consume Essential Fats

Many of us live under the notion that it is best to avoid fat altogether in order to shun any ailment or unnecessary weight gain. However, the science of Ayurveda stresses the fact that consuming healthy fats is essential for the wellbeing of the body and the skin both. To instigate this purpose, include a combination of seeds and nuts in your diet that is rich in Omega-3. Examples include flax seeds, almonds, figs, pistachios, etc.

Massage with Cow’s Ghee

Add a weekly massage to your regimen using Cow’s Ghee blended with a few water droplets. It is the best formulation to deeply nourish your skin and also feed it with essential fats. In addition to deeply moisturizing the skin, it also boosts the collagen production in the skin to impart a healthy, youthful glow along with elasticity.

Fight Acne with Sandalwood and Turmeric

For the skin to glow, it needs to be healthy. Breakouts or acne indicate a disturbed digestive system for which essential steps should be taken as indicated in the science of Ayurveda. Additionally, heal the skin and attain a clearer texture by applying a blend of Sandalwood and Turmeric.

Aloe Vera and Saffron Paste for Fairer Glow

To achieve a dewy golden glow, you can work with a formulation of Aloe Vera and Saffron. Keep it on the face for a duration of 30 minutes before rinsing it off.

Follow the Ayurveda Timeline

Ayurveda recommends tuning the body’s clock with the Sun’s and planning the daily activities according to it for maximizing the potential of the body and its overall health. The timeline includes rising up with the Sun and retiring to bed early at night. It also recommends scheduling the diet plan according to its degrees. Consume a medium breakfast early in the morning to ignite the Agni element, eating a heavy lunch at noon when the Sun and the Agni element of the body and the universe are at their prime, followed by a pauper-adjacent dinner as the Sun sets. Also, make sure to get enough beauty sleep which should ideally be of 8-10 hours between the duration of 9 pm – 5 am.

A Dedicated Detoxification, Cleansing, and Toning Schedule

Do not neglect this no matter how wired out you are from the day. Always make sure to purify the skin to remove its dead cells that accumulate from the persistent environmental factors. You may use a blend of Castor (arandi) oil and Olive (Jaitoon) Oil or Sandalwood and Yoghurt paste for this purpose. Finally, tone the skin with an application of Chamomile and Fuller’s Earth. For intensive detoxification to eliminate the toxin completely from the skin, opt for the Best Panchakarma Treatment in India.

Hydrate

Do not undermine the impact of a regular hydration. Water is the best and the most easily available tonic for ensuring regular hydration. Also, sipping on an herbal infusion of ginger and chamomile once every 2-3 hours is highly recommended owing to the presence of anti-oxidants in it.

Tulsi (Holy Basil) and Milk Formula

Get an instant glow by applying a paste of crushed holy basil leaves and milk on the skin for 15-20 minutes.

For best results, add a dosage of smile and plenty of rest.

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Author Bio- Manmohan Singh has been a practitioner of yoga and Ayurveda for the last 12 years. He is managing director of Rishikul Ayurshala, an authentic Ayurveda training institute. The Institue offers ayurveda courses in Kerala India and ayurveda cooking classes in kerala India. The institute’s goal is to provide the simplest healing solutions and treatments for multifarious health problems. Apart from the institute management, Manmohan Singh loves to spend time writing, doing photography and traveling.

Speaking The Unspoken: How The Wordless Art of Body Language Can Make You A Master of Communication

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Are you a good communicator?

Clear speaker?

Is your grasp of the English language better than average?

Can you engage in a verbal back and forth that both informs and enlightens regardless of the subject you are discussing?

If you answered yes to any of the above, that’s fantastic!

Developing excellent speaking skills is a challenge for many of us. Outstanding verbal communication will take you far in both your personal and professional life.

But what you say and how you say it is only half of the equation.

Some of the most powerful means of communication require very few words, if any at all.

Our bodies can express an array of emotions. How you carry and present yourself physically is just as important (and in some cases, more so) as being well-spoken.

What is Body Language?

Body language, also referred to as nonverbal communication, is how we interact with others without using words.

This interaction can be something as simple as a shift in weight when we’re standing or a more substantial gesture such as burying your face in your hands.

Regardless of the movement, nonverbal communication often conveys far more about your feelings than any words could, filling in the gaps of an individual’s communication style.

It can tell us if someone is a leader or a follower, engaged or disinterested, fearless or afraid, loving or detached.

But how exactly does the body speak?

Can you train yourself to communicate better through your movements?

Can you also learn to read the body language of others?

How to Communicate Without Words

Our ability to convey a wide range of emotions without the need to say a word stems from our bodies being incredibly complex machines.

Effectively, we are communication towers that can walk. The signals we send out to others have been refined over time so that most are universal and easily translated.

However, we are each unique, and so too is our physical communication style. To help you refine your nonverbal methods and techniques, let’s review the most common aspects of body language.

Posture and Position

Are you an open individual?

Or someone that is more closed off to others?

How you sit or stand, and the placement of your extremities while doing either can reveal the type of person you are. And it goes beyond simply maintaining a stiff spine.

The way you hold your head can communicate confidence or lack thereof.

The manner in which you walk matters too. Straight and upright displays a sense of purpose. Slouched and dragging your feet will send out a definite vibe of laziness or low energy.

Folded arms or crossed legs can quickly close you off to others. Power poses like placing your arms on hips,  and feet facing forward, shoulder length apart can inspire respect.

Your posture and positioning is often the first impression an individual has of you, and the way you carry both will instantly communicate a lot about the type of person you are.

Gestures

In general, gestures are the most explicit way to show nonverbal prompts, and our hands are some of the best indicators of positive and negative feelings.

From thumbs up and thumbs down to an okay sign or something a bit more profane, we can quickly convey multiple sentiments with the shape of our fingers.

Also, the common act of talking with your hands is a crucial component of gesture-based language.

Many people associate hand gestures while speaking with an excellent grasp of the subject matter. At the same time, it provides visual cues for an audience to follow, thereby keeping them engaged and drawn in with the presenter.

Think back to some of the best public speakers you’ve seen, and chances are high they incorporated hand movements into many of their speeches.

Though one aspect of hand gestures to remember is that when you travel abroad, those same gestures we reference for the US may not always translate the same for nonverbal communication in other countries.

Proximity and Touch

These could easily be two separate discussions, but in today’s society where personal space is more respected than at specific points in the 20th century, proximity and touch go hand in hand.

First, let’s start with the all-important handshake. Firm handshakes can infer a dominant, commanding personality. Anything less than enthusiastic can easily label that individual as disinterested and weak.

It’s good to find a middle ground with what often serves as our initial greeting with others. Firm and authoritative while not holding the grip too long will establish you as serious, committed and genuine.

When it comes to spacing, the distance you give others is very situational, and many times depends on the relationship you have with each other or the interaction that is required.

With co-workers and colleagues, you’ll want to read how others exert their physical presence. Some people very clearly put distance between themselves and others. This can be both a means to exercise power or to provide isolation.

However, working in groups or dealing with friendly acquaintances may close the proximity gap significantly.

You have your own level of comfort to consider too.

In general, spacing of about 3 to 5 feet is acceptable for close proximity interactions or 5 to 10 feet if the situation is a bit broader.

For family, friends and significant others, the distance and touch rules obviously change. As we noted, it depends on the type of relationship and the comfort level the individuals have with one another.

Facial Expression

Your facial features when your mouth isn’t moving doesn’t exactly fall under the heading of body language, but it indeed leads the discussion when talking about nonverbal communication.

Let’s face it, nothing conveys (or betrays) your emotions faster than a roll of the eyes, a purse of the lips, or a raise of an eyebrow.

People may quietly recognize if you’re arms are crossed or buried in your pockets, but they will almost always acknowledge what’s written on your face.

It’s not unreasonable to say that more than any other type of nonverbal prompt, your facial expressions will be judged by others.

It makes sense too when you realize you can relate everything from anger and fear to joy and happiness with the expression on your face.

With that said, to improve your nonverbal communication, it’s good practice to train yourself to present facial expressions appropriate for the environment in which you find yourself.  

A good rule is to avoid being overly emotional or too underwhelmed in public or professional settings. Save your most expressive facial reactions for private moments or when you’re around people you trust.

You don’t always need to keep a straight face, but it helps to have an engaged one.

Multiple Lines of Communication

Let’s go back to how complex and intricate we are as humans.

When you’re verbally communicating it’s relatively easy to extract emotions based on what you’re saying and how you’re saying it.

The “mixed signals” of communication tend to occur when we stop talking.

With body language, it can be a bit harder to extrapolate a definite feeling or mood from someone. Everyone possesses different mannerisms and therefore distinct communication styles.

For example, liars may be easy to spot thanks to an overly stiff posture, twitchy hands that are always rubbing a forearm or back of their neck, and eyes that may hold contact far longer than the average person.

However, this could also be indications of someone who is nervous or overly anxious or awkward about a subject or situation.

Therefore, when reading the body language of others, and displaying your own, take into consideration the movements as a whole, and not just one or two.

The context of the interaction is equally as important.

Similar to how you may alter your speech patterns and the words you use based on your audience and circumstances, adjust your body language as well. Realize that others may be doing the same.

Body Language in Your Professional Life

With few exceptions, business relies on relationships.

Whether it’s with customers, investors, partners, vendors, or fellow employees, how we interact with those with work with plays a huge role in our success or failure.

Disregarding how others view you in your interactions with them can lead to the following issues:

  • Lack of respect or inability of others (particularly subordinates) to take you seriously.
  • Difficult or uncomfortable working environment.
  • Little commitment from others to meet requests you make.
  • Disregard for your opinion in meetings or when conducting negotiations.
  • Lost confidence in yourself leading to being ineffective around your peers.

Beyond what your body language conveys to others, knowing how to read a counterpart’s nonverbal cues is equally vital.

Close attention to facial expressions is the easiest way to interpret what someone is trying to tell you, but observing gestures and body shifts can also inform if someone is comfortable or not.

Further, if your job requires presenting to others or pitching sales, you need to ensure your audience is engaged.

Look for signs of disinterest like slouching, eyes that are unfocused or “daydreaming” and looking everywhere else but at you. Even doodlers, with heads down and pens scratching away, indicate you might need to perfect your presentation style.

More so than in most other environments, your body language at your place of work is key to ongoing success. Superiors want to see their employees open, upright and engaged with the tasks at hand, and knowing how to read others will allow you to get the most out of your interactions with them.

Body Language in Your Personal Life

With perhaps a few exceptions, the way you conduct yourself professionally is vastly different from who you are personally. This does not mean however that your communication skills, and more specifically your nonverbal interactions, are any less necessary.

We’re by no means handing out relationship advice, but it’s always a good practice to realize that just because your workday is over doesn’t mean the need to be an effective communicator also ended at the office.

Positive eye contact, appropriate proximity, and maintaining an open, welcoming posture will impart warmth and affection.

Hand holding or a touch on the shoulder or arm will also do well in preserving a closeness befitting the relationship.

Even in disagreements with your partner or a friend or family member, avoiding negative physical cues like blocking or turning your back, clenching your fist, or tossing your head aside or using dismissive hand gestures.

Maintaining your composure, and keeping any physical displays of anger or displeasure to a minimum will ensure a more civil discourse and help you repair the rift much sooner.

Final Words

Modern day communication isn’t just limited to how well we speak.

How we are perceived, and the manner in which we carry ourselves is equally as important.

Whether in a business setting or someplace more personal our nonverbal cues generate a much broader spectrum of emotion than the use of words alone.

Once practiced and refined, your body language will assure that you transcend simple conversation and build deep connections with whomever you engage.

7 Steps to a More Ethical Business

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There are a number of skills that savvy business owners know to value in their workers. Integrity and ethics are both essential ingredients to a harmonious workforce, but many managers still fail to give them the priority they deserve. Here are seven steps that any business leader can take to foster a more ethical business environment.

Lead the Way

The concept of leading by example is a very powerful one in the world of business. It doesn’t matter what it is that you are asking your workers to do. No matter how big or small it is, if you show that you are willing to chip in and undertake it yourself, others will be more willing to follow. If you want to institute a more ethical workplace, you need to set the standards for others to follow. It’s no good trying to improve ethics amongst your staff if you aren’t able to observe them yourself.

Continue to emphasize the importance of being ethical throughout everything that you do, and the rest of your workforce will soon take note. This applies at all levels of your business. Whether you are in the presence of upper management or of frontline workers, you should always keep ethics at the forefront of your mind.

Don’t Throw it Away For Quick Profits

A great many businesses start out with the very best of intentions but ultimately succumb to the temptation of profits. Anyone who has ever been through the struggles of keeping a small business afloat and growing it during those intrepid first years will be able to testify as to how tempting it can be to take shortcuts in favor of shoring up your financial position. However, once you start taking and tolerating shortcuts, you open the door to people routinely ignoring rules and procedures. In that kind of environment, it’s much harder to encourage ethical behavior.

Make sure that everyone in your business understands that there are important considerations beyond money alone. Again, leading by example is important here, but what is also important is that you lead with actions, not just words. If the other members of management in your business notice that you are often taking shortcuts and putting profits over all other considerations, they are unlikely to pass on your more ethical message to their teams.

Internalize Ethics as Part of Your Brand

Show everyone how committed and dedicated you are to building a more ethical business, which you are encouraging them to be a part of by injecting an ethical streak into everything you do. Make ethical behavior another key principle of your brand and ensure that this is something that is being properly reflected in all your marketing and promotional materials. The more you can internalize these principles, the deeper they will ingrain themselves intoyour corporate culture.

Hire the Right People

As with everything else in business, if you want your team to deliver on the objectives and vision that you have set for yourself, you will need to hire the right people to convey your message and implement your ideas. Think of ways that you can make ethical considerations a bigger part of your hiring and screening processes. Consider, for example, giving priority to those who have experience working with charitable organizations, or who have university qualifications that are directly related to ethics.

If you are responsible for conducting interviews with potential new hires then take the opportunity to size them up yourself to see what kind of feeling you get from them. Remember, for your drive towards a more ethical business to be successful, you will need to ingrain the ethos and behavior into everything that your business does. That means that you need to be checking all your potential hires to ensure that they will fit intothat part of your corporate culture.

Study Group Dynamics

The dynamics between the individuals that work for you when they are together in a group will have a huge impact on the most efficient way of managing them. Sometimes, two people are both a credit to the workforce individually but are completely incapable of working with one another in a group setting. You should study your workforce carefully until you feel that you have a solid grasp oftheir dynamics as a group.

One of the things that should be becoming clear by now is just how important it is that the managers and upper-levelstaff in your business are pushing those working under them to behave and act more ethically at every opportunity. Group dynamics are very important here; carefully observe your team and their output in order to ascertain who among them is going to be the most receptive to what you are trying to do.

Stop Unethical Behavior in its Tracks

Adopting a zero-tolerance approach towards unethical behavior will soon have your workforce falling into line. It is also important to understand that allowing even very minor lapses in ethics will open the door to much less ethical behavior down the line. If you turn a blind eye to small lapses, it is inevitable that there will be more serious ones in the future.

This is another reason why it is so important that you carefully consider who you are hiring, and you are entrusting in positions of authority.

Go Above and Beyond

Creating a more ethical business environment needs to involve more than just words. Too many businesses rely on hiring groups to come and talk to their workers and run workshops about ethics, diversity, and equality, but these exercises will not lead to any long-term change unless you take steps to make that happen. Think beyond the most obvious things you can do and think about the best that you can do.

For example, don’t just tell your workers that you are going to pay extra attention to diversity. Instead, make your buildings wheelchair accessible. You can pair with a business such as National Ramp to do the work, click here to learn more. The more you work towards equality and diversity, the greater the skillset your business will attract.

A more ethical business is generally a happier and more productive business. You should be doing everything that you can to encourage ethical behavior. Make sure you lead by example and put ethics at the heart of your business. That way, you will be able to foster a much better atmosphere.

Tips To Overcome Depression

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Most times people who have not been depressed before find it difficult to have a clear-cut definition of what it meant to be depressed. Being depressed is very different from being sad. Sadness can be a short or temporary bitterness from a natural or known cause.  But depression is a prolonged mood disorder that is characterized by sadness and having a loss of interest.

More than 16.2 million adults living in the United States have had at least one depressive state in a given year. These statistics have revealed more occurrences in women than in men and also indicated that women experienced depression at twice the rate of men.

People who suffer from depression are generally characterized by having; anger management problems, loss of interest, irritation from any known and unknown cause, restlessness, weight loss, recurrent headache, and fatigue. Depression can lead to mental severe dysfunction and even death if not checked and treated on time. To aid you in overcoming depression, here are some fun things you can do.

Exercise

Increasing levels of exercise can help fight a depressive state. Cardio workouts and low-intensity training can significantly act as an antidepressant therapy for many sufferers. During such activities, a protein is released which help neurotransmitters like dopamine; serotonin perform their functions to control a depressed state.

As depression can set in for many people, especially during the winter months, you will need to ensure you exercise regularly. As for summer, those going through depressive states caused by sadness or even withdrawal symptoms when recovering from an addiction, summertime is a great time to go out and exercise. You take advantage of this time to practice some of the best summer exercises for addiction recovery.

Yoga

Yoga comes with many benefits. Individuals suffering from stress, lack of self-awareness, irregular sleeping time, and emotional depression can engage in Yoga as another way to fight depression. Participating in exercises can improve emotions and create self-awareness. Yoga, which also entails mindful meditation and body posture awareness, can help increase the bond between the mind and soul.

Hangout With Loved Ones

Loneliness and self-withdrawal from friends and family can trigger depression state of the mind. Therefore, it figures that one of the best ways to counteract this is by hanging out with friends and family. Hanging out in parks and museums can help as one effective way for fats approach to recover from depression.

Consider A Change Of Diet

Chemical imbalances and diet are often linked to depression. Try to avoid all grain products (bread and pastries, pasta, pizza, pies and confectionery) and sweets for a longer period of time. Even if it’s hard at first, it’s just a habit.

Eat a lot of meat, fish, eggs, cheese, lots of vegetables and fruits, nuts and drink lots of water. While you need not be afraid of fat in your diet, it is necessary to eliminate or at least minimize anything that contains sweeteners, because it is dangerous to your figure and well-being. Buy more natural foods and largely dispense with packaged and processed food. Note that before changing your diet it is best to visit a GP to ensure it is safe to do so.


7 Tips To Overcome Negative Thoughts  

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Negative thoughts can easily overcome our lives, making things feel dark and uncomfortable, even giving us a feeling of hopelessness and leading to depression and anxiety. In many cases, these negative thoughts that, if left alone could make us feel terrible, can be overcome. Although it can be hard to prevent negative thoughts once they start, it is possible, and the best method to do so is to shift our thinking to a more positive mode. Here are some tips on how to do it.

Meditate

Meditation is a wonderful way to stop thinking negative thoughts and to focus on the more positive aspects of our lives. When you meditate, the idea is to clear your mind entirely, which means that you won’t be thinking of the negative anymore. There are many different techniques to meditation, each one right for someone, so it may take a little trial and error to find the method that is right for you, but don’tlet that put you off; once you have found your favorite way to meditate, stick with it and you’ll quickly see the difference.

Most meditation starts with sitting comfortably and completely still and focusing solely on your breathing. It can completely relax both body and mind, and when you have finished, you will be in a much calmer, much more positive place.

If you prefer to do something more active, then yoga might work well for you. This ancient practice is similar to meditation in that it relaxes you completely, but it is also an exercise method, involving moving and stretching, so it can work well for your fitness levels too.

Smile

There are many reasons why someone might feelbad and be thinking negative thoughts. It could be due to emotional trauma, about which you can read more here. It might be because they are grieving, or because they are feeling overwhelmed, or any number of other things. Sometimes it will be necessary to visit a medicalprofessional such as a doctor or psychologist for help, but other times help is possible in the form of positive thoughts pushing out the negative ones.

Smiling is a way to do this. Even if the last thing you feel like doing is smiling, smile anyway. This fake smile can actually trick your mind into thinking more positive thoughts, and eventually, with enough time and practice, that fake smile can become a real one, and those positive thoughts can become a lot more easy to find. The brainis a wonderful tool when we use it correctly, and this is one of the ways it can be done. Smiling changes the moodrelievesstressand relaxes the face because it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. All of this will make you feel much better.

Be Around Positive People

You might just want to be by yourself when you’re feeling negative and low, but that could be a bad idea; with no one to talk to and bounce ideas off, your negative thoughts can linger. Surrounding yourself with positive people will help you immensely. Just being around them can help to lift your mood, and talking to them can help your thoughts switch from negative to positive. These people will help to put things into perspective for you, and your negative thoughts won’t have any space to grow. You might even be able to come up with a plan for your future by discussing the options open to you, and that will make you feel more positive too; it is always good to have something to look forward to in life.

Change Perspective

When something happens to you, how do you frame your thoughts about it? It could be that they are framed in a negative way, focusing on the bad things that could happen in this new situation, rather than the good. It will be a challenge to change, but it is important to try if you want to have more positive thoughts than negative ones.There will always be challenges in life, solooking at them with a positive slant – looking for the ‘silver lining’ in every situation – will help you get through them, and might even mean that you are more successful than you otherwise would have been.

Take Responsibility

Some people always assume that whatever supposedly negative things are happening to them it must be someone else’s fault. That is not a good way to live your life, as you will never take responsibility for anything that happens to you, and it is the ability to take responsibility that is so important when it comes to having positive thoughts. Mistakes happen, problems arise, and life is not as smooth sailing as we might like, but that is all part of what makes it interesting.

When these issues happen, taking responsibility for them means you are better equipped to change things around – if you blame someone else and wait for them to fix things, you might be feeling negative for a long while. Doing it yourself, taking charge and being in control, means positive feelings can come to you much more quickly.

Help Someone Else

There is always going to be someone around you who needs help, so look out for them. If you are feeling negative, helping someone elsewill also help you, and ensure that your thoughts turn from your own problems to thinking of ways to make someone else’s life better. In the process, you will be automatically thinking more positively, and enabling those positive thoughts to take root in your mind. Through helping someone else, you can find ways to change the negative situations in your own life too.

There Is No Such Thing As Perfection

Negative thoughts can come so very easily through trying to reach perfection, which is why it is important to realize that there is no such thing as perfection, even if it looks as though there is. Striving for the impossible is sure to give you negative thoughts because you will feel as though you keep missing. Instead of this, strive to be the best you can be – you may not be perfect, but neither is anyone else.

Benefits of meditation on personal development and spiritual growth

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1.Distracts from negative thoughts

One benefit of meditation is that it distracts us from our negative thoughts. Often times throughout the day, we think that same negative thoughts over and over again without even realizing it. Since the purpose of meditation is to help us quiet our mind, meditation can usually distract us from our negative thoughts and help us experience stillness, at least temporarily. The stillness that we experience during meditation can be carried throughout the day and give us relief from some of our negative thoughts.

2. Connects us with our authentic Self

One of the spiritual benefits of meditation is that it connects us to our authentic Self. Some people may refer to this as our soul, Higher Self, Spirit, or true self. Whatever you want to call this, meditation helps us go beneath our conscious mind and helps us experience our most authentic self.

3. Decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression

According to psychologists, psychiatrists, and mental health professionals, regular meditation can help decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression. Symptoms of anxiety include tension, excessive worrying about multiple areas of your life, racing thoughts, and difficulty concentrating. Symptoms of depression include sadness, low energy, and feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Numerous research studies have shown that regular meditation can help decrease the frequency and intensity of these symptoms and provide relief from anxiety and depression.

4.  Increase chances of having a spiritual or mystical experience

Philosophers, theologians, and spiritual teachers across all religions and time periods have found that meditation may lead to a spiritual or mystical experience. They describe this experience as being ineffable (unable to describe the experience using ordinary language), noetic (able to provide hidden or inaccessible knowledge), transcendent (do not last long), and passive (feeling that the person does not have control over the experience).  Many claim this experience leads to a state of peace and joy that is the result of experiencing God, Spirit, connection to the Universe or some Ultimate Reality. While this experience may not last long during meditation, the results can carry over to daily life and lead to greater feelings of peace, joy, and connection when you are not meditating.

5. Increase our focus, discipline of mind, awareness and concentration

Meditation provides us a temporary break or relief from the business of life and/or thoughts that race through our mind. The act of meditation requires us to focus on something beyond our thoughts or physical life such as a mantra, breath, candle, or third eye. Some people may find that a guided relaxation or meditation music can help aid them with their focus while meditating or deepen their meditation. In fact, using professional effective meditation music can deepen the state of mind and the  meditation experience. The act of coming back to what we are focused on, such as the meditation music, during meditation trains our mind to focus on something beyond our habitual thoughts.  The site Meditation-Music.com provides comprehensive information about meditation and offers professional, neuro-scientifically proven relaxing  music. Similar to other benefits of meditation, when we train our mind to be discipline and focused while we meditate, then we also train our mind to be discipline throughout our daily life.

Why Learning Music Is No Longer a Daydream

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Somehow listening to music while attending to the most mind-numbing tasks makes it all worthwhile. And we’ve all experienced that urge to perform the guitar solo for our favorite song. Or maybe you’ve noticed your fingers tapping along to the piano while you waited for your download. Amazing isn’t it? Those two seconds of pretend where you produced a magnificent piece of music for the entire world to hear? And just who said it had to say pretend?

With today’s innovations and the powerful reach of the internet, it seems there are no limits to what we can achieve. And given the right tools and steady motivation, your dreams of playing an instrument can become a reality!

Tutors at Your Fingertips:

Learning music is not easy. But it can become that much less difficult with the right teacher. Ten maybe fifteen years ago, you might have had to scour the land (or your neighborhood) searching for the right teacher. Someone nice, someone patient and someone available. Not to mention someone willing to take you on and someone affordable of course. And let’s not even get into trying to fit the music classes into your everyday schedule. Or rather fitting your entire life around your music lessons.

But thanks to the technology we have available today you can peruse whole lists of available tutors. And if you decide to take a break from your music then that’s not a problem. Because you can come back after a while and your music tutor can just take things from the top!

Sharing Your Journey:

The most difficult subject in school always felt the easiest because you had your friends to help you. If you’re just starting your musical journey you can share it online and find other amateur musicians who are maybe struggling in the same places you are. Finding a support group to fall back on for your problems is now just a few clicks away as the internet continues to bring people closer together.

An Ever Available Source of Guidance:

If you know anyone that can play an instrument ask them how difficult it can be to secure an audience to sit in for every practice piece. And even if you can beg your family to attend one of your mini concerts most of the time the critique you get are in the form of praises only for the parts where you were good. Maybe they don’t want to hurt your feelings by bringing up your short-comings. But most of the times they don’t have the technical training to tell you if you were off or the places where you could improve.

Nowadays, however, you can just upload your practice piece and over time you’ll find that there plenty of people willing to listen and critique your work. Knowing the internet, a lot of it might just be people trying to be funny. But you can also find genuinely enthusiastic people willing to help you improve.

Think of the Money You’ve Saved:

Learning and even playing music can be very expensive. Let’s add the cost of the instruments, the equipment required to fine tune your pieces to the money you would have to pay your music teacher. And already you begin thinking of a more affordable passion to pursue.

But now all you need is to find the best piano plungins that arecompatible with your computer and you are ready to go. And you don’t even have to settle for the available option that often comes with an unreasonable price. You can compare and try out different plugins until you find the one that is right for you. Especially since most of them are free.

All the Time in the World:

Welcome to a world where you no longer have to reorder your life to accommodate your practice schedule. Are you finding a hard time getting in a lesson in the morning? That’s fine. You can do it in the afternoon. Are you really a night person? Not a problem. Just finish up the rest of your chores, make yourself a hot cup of coffee and settle in for a satisfying jam session.

In a world where your music teacher can be reached at any time and anywhere you get to decide when to have your music lesson. And even whether you feel like having the same lesson over and over until you’ve got it right.

State of The Art Equipment:

Say you’ve mastered your music lessons and you’re friends and fans are cheering you on to write your own music. So you sit down to write your original songs but where do you record them? And don’t you need really expensive equipment to tune it? Not anymore. Now all the equipment you could need is available in a digital format and free!

You can just download the different software you need to record and arrange your music and start your very own studio in your bedroom.

A World Stage:

You don’t even have to worry about making multiple copies of your songs to send to record companies in the hopes that they will hear you. All you have to do is share your music online for the world stage and wait for the record companies to come to you. And if you have the talent then they will come to you.

And if you don’t find a big record label to back you then you can just produce your music yourself! In today’s world, an artist is not limited by the lack of a big label. Go ahead! Keep producing your music for free online and build your fan base. Pay forward a bit of what you have received for free from the internet. And earn thousands of fans in the progress.

The Sky Is The Limit:

Thanks to the same innovation that helped you achieve your musical dream there is no end to what you can create. You can start your own music channel, or you can turn out music tutorials. Maybe even offer critique and consultancy to other up and coming artists or even produce their music from your channel. The only limit is your imagination.

In Conclusion:

Music is the purest form of energy and inspiration. It allows us to share our favorite memories and bond over mutual experiences. Listening to good music is like taking a deep breath of clean air. Perhaps the only thing better is making music. Putting notes that float around in your head onto a piece of paper. And then finding the right instrument to help the broken sounds in your head become a symphony. Learning how to play a musical instrument is nowhere near as difficult and expensive as it used to seem. All you need to do is reach out and find the right place to help you achieve your dream.

Becoming Starlight Excerpt

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Excerpted from Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness to Light by Sharon Prentice, PhD. Copyright © 2018 by Sharon Prentice. https://sharonprentice.com

Heaven. There are many different words for it in many different languages. And each day, it’s a “place” that’s referred to more than any other in the world. Why? Every single race, religion, ethnicity, and culture—members of each one believe in the concept of Heaven. Religious scholars and philosophers have debated, argued, and fought over the very nature of Heaven since time immemorial and they have written reams and reams of papers about it and stockpiled book after book on library shelves for millennia.

But it’s not the conversations or writings of the religious scholars or philosophers that touch the true nature of “that place.” It’s the conversations that take place in the hospices, hospitals, ICU’s and funerals of the world that take us into the soul of humanity and, therefore –into Heaven. It’s in times of great personal trauma that many of these discussions take place. And, sometimes, these private moments can become very heated due to the stress and fear that exist in the trying moments before the death of a loved one. Once the word “Heaven” is spoken out loud, the underlying, unacknowledged, unspoken word that goes with it is death. Fear that death is near–especially in the waiting rooms of the ICU–prompts exchanges that are not normally heard in everyday family life.

When “the end” is near, people shy away from using the word “death”; their conversation will, instead, turn to the “place” where their loved one “is going” and to each person’s individual interpretation of exactly what and where Heaven is–and everyone has their own “truth.” Listening to, and being part of these conversations, is both joyous and heart wrenching as families try to come to terms with exactly “where” their loved one will be after they die. This conversation is repeated countless times, every single day, all over the globe.

The conflict begins the very minute someone questions the interpretation of another. In these moments of great tragedy, having one’s viewpoint understood and accepted as truth–the only truth–is vitally important to each person’s peace of mind. Therein lies the problem. The discussion turns to debate–then to all-out disagreement.

I understand the conflict. Over the years, I have shared my SDE with many friends, colleagues, and mentors, and my explanations and descriptions have sometimes caused heated debate among them. I have spoken to individuals from all walks of life, from all the great religions of the world, from every background and school of thought, and every one of them had their own version of what “truth” should “be” or “is.” While all their “truths” were different, they did have a unifying thread–a belief in an afterlife. “Heaven” and “Hell” were central to every debate and the descriptions of these “places” were similar in both nature and belief.

In the course of these debates and conversations, I have been asked to explain “where” I was taken, what I meant by “I became Starlight,” and to describe exactly what “God” looked like. It is so very difficult to accurately relay my experience because I must rely on “words.” To use words such as “majestic, magnificent, purity defined, peaceful, still, home” dulls the experience because of the mere fact that labeling it–using words to describe the indescribable–just doesn’t do the SDE justice. To characterize the face of God, the touch of God, is tantamount to explaining perfection itself–how can it be done? How do you depict an emanation of love and joy combined with otherworldly purity? How do you describe an ethereal form that consists of pure light? The “how” lies in the experience itself as given to you by God Himself–His face, His thoughts, His Word engraved upon your heart–how do you give voice to that feeling?

The “how” lies hidden in the vision, the “feeling” of pure Spirit–the soul must feel its way through to see perfection without being polluted by the scripts we grew up identifying with and falling victim to. “God looked like love I have never experienced before” has always been my answer. There are some feelings and thoughts that can never be expressed–words don’t exist to describe them. Our own humanity puts locks on the words felt in the Soul. The physicality of God’s appearance—it simply wasn’t important. I felt absolutely no curiosity about it–His touch was just too all-consuming and comforting to think of anything else. Perhaps one day, someone will invent a word that accurately depicts “the pure light that is love” that will get us one step closer to seeing His perfection.

Once the head shaking stops from my lack of a physical description, the conversation turns to “where” was I? Most organized religion tells us that God is “separate” from us, that He lives somewhere “out there,” above the clouds in a place called Heaven. Religion teaches us that God is the creator and final arbiter of the rights and wrongs of living and that we all will surely answer to Him for all our wrong doings. And just as we’ve been told who and what God is, we’ve also been told what “heaven” is, in descriptive terms that everyone can visualize. Heaven is a specific place, the likes of which there is no equal. It is an “other” world, out there somewhere, filled with everything wonderful and beautiful, full of creature comforts that we only dream about. Mansions line golden streets encrusted with pearls and diamonds, and everyone has everything they ever wanted–and everyone who was the best “good little boy or girl” has even bigger and better things than those who weren’t quite as good in this life. We earn that mansion on that particular street in that particular neighborhood by the things we do or believe or by the things we don’t do or don’t believe while living on this earth. Sounds like a bigger and better version of life here, doesn’t it? I fully accepted that version, that description of Heaven given to me as a child. The innocence of childhood demands “pictures” we can understand. Adjectives that paint a picture of a human paradise comfort and console us when we think of death–ours or anyone else’s.

But that is not what I found in “that place” among my stars. Was there physicality, a form, a space–a specific place that could be described? I can’t say there was! What I found, and felt, instead, in the place where I was held, was magnificence itself: Pure Starlight–and God Himself. And the most amazing surprise of all–I found the “me” as God intended me to be from the moment He formed me in my mother’s womb–before this world got ahold of me and slapped labels on me that told me who to “be” and what to believe. But in “that place,” I found myself as a magnificent extension of God. My answer to the question, “What does God look like?” has always been the same: to describe God, I would be describing my own Soul. And to describe “that place” requires a complete letting go of everything that any logic and human reasoning would dictate.

The very essence of God, of Heaven, was in and of that Starlight. I discovered–no, I just knew–that there is nowhere that God is not. He is in and of everything that has ever existed. There is nothing that He is not. There is no place that He is not. If it exists, it is a part of Him–His thoughts created everything, including every one of us. We exist purely because he thought of each one of us. We are the physical forms of His thoughts. We are his creations–part of a whole that we can’t perceive. We are all intricately combined as one thought of God but gloriously separate as individuals for some reason unknown to us–but known to Him from the moment He gave each of us life.

About the Author:

Dr. Sharon Prentice is the author of Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness to Light.Soon after completing her graduate studies in psychology, Dr. Prentice longed to discover “the why’s” about her own intimate experience with death in the form of an SDE, and that of others who had experienced something “weird, unbelievable, odd” at the time of the death of a loved one. Dr. Prentice is in private practice as a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor – Advanced Certification. She is also a Board Certified Spiritual Counselor (SC-C) and holds Board Certification in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Group Therapy, Integrated Marriage and Family Therapy, and Crisis and Abuse Therapy. She is also a Board Certified Temperament Counselor. Dr. Prentice is a Professional Member of the American Counselors Association, a Professional Clinical member of the National Christian Counselors Association, a Clinical member of the American Mental Health Counselors Association, and a Presidential member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. She is also a Commissioned Minister of Pastoral Care. For more information, please visit https://sharonprentice.com and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter.

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Morals in the Media: How Movies, TV, Games And Books Can Teach Morals

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Whether you’re a parent, a teacher or simply looking to adjust your own morals, the media can be a great tool for teaching new values. Here are a few ways in which movies, TV programmes, games and books can be used to teach morals.

Movies

There are many movies with a moral message. Many kids’ films in particular teach strong moral lessons – a film like Nanny McPhee is an obvious lesson on obedience and honesty, whilst a film like Shrek may have less obvious lessons about not judging people based on their appearance. Other movies more aimed at an adult audience may aim to question morals rather than providing an answer such Capote and A Clockwork Orange. These movies are great for sparking debate and encouraging more independent insight.

TV

TV programmes work much in the same way as movies by working in a visual manner. The difference is that they may be shorter or longer in their delivery – they may explore a moral issue in a single episode or dedicate an entire series to exploring a moral issue. As with films, kids’ TV shows tend to promote more straightforward morals, whilst adult TV shows may explore more complex moral dilemmas.

Games

There are also games out there that aim to explore morality. This can allow a more interactive experience. Board games such as Deliverance explore straightforward morals of good and evil through angels and demons. How do angels look? In this game they are portrayed as human, making them more relatable. Video games aren’t always as successful at teaching morals (although that isn’t to say that just because a video game is violent, it’s automatically immoral), although there are some that do offer deliberately tough decisions such as Mass Effect. Games also teach determination and the willingness to not give up.

Books

Many books also explore morals. The beauty of books is that they can do this in more explicit detail, whilst at the same time leaving a certain amount up to interpretation (at least a good book does anyway). Obviously, there are religious texts such as the Bible and Koran, but there are also many novels that explore morals such as The Great Gatsby and The Hunger Games. Books require a lot more work to engage with than other forms of media, and they themselves can teach the importance of perseverance and making one’s own interpretation.

The Best Holistic Self Care Tips You Must Follow

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Looking after your health in a holistic way takes into consideration your mental, physical, as well as spiritual wellbeing. That is why many holistic practices are often outside the advice you would hear from your family doctor, yet they help people live their best lives even more than regular medicinal practices. Consider throwing scientific explanations out the window for some of these endeavors, such as acupuncture, and see for yourself how they help you. Other factors to keep in mind are eating well, taking up yoga, meditation, using various oils, drinking tea, getting massagetherapy, sleeping enough and even getting guidance from the right professional throughout all of it.

Eating well

Eating well is recommended by all health care professionals for you to live a healthy life. Holistic advice is the same in this regard, and you should particularlymake a point of eating whole foods. In other words, this is food that you couldeasilyhave grown at home and includes various fruits and vegetables. Optimal health is achievedwhen you eat an overall nutritious and balanced diet, and you thus cannot disregard the importance of dairy, protein, as well as grain in your everyday meals.

Taking up yoga

Exercise is equally important to your health andwellbeing, and yoga is often the choice for those who live a holistic life. Yoga helps you obtain both a strong mind and body, and this calming form of physical activity can even be done in the comforts of your home. There are countless videos and articles online thatteach you everything you need to know! Remember, you won’t know if it is a good fit for your everyday lifestyle until you try.

Meditating

Meditation is also a tactic people use to soothe their mind, bodyas well as spirit. It allows people to practice living in the present while you regulate your breathing in the process. You must sit in a comfortable position, breathe in and out, and bring your mind back whenever it starts to wander. As with everything, it takes practice to master, but there are numerous online guides so you can learn to do it properly. It won’t break your bank, andyou can use this technique whenever you start feeling stressed or anxious about something.

Acupuncture

Acupuncture helps relieve bodily pain with the use of a needle. It must be done by a professional to find the right points of your body and is another option for taking caring of yourself. This practice dates to 100 B.C. and Ancient Chinese medicine.

Using oil

Using various types of oils is a big part of holistic care. A common one that more people are using is CBD hemp oil, used to treat anxiety, pain, insomnia, among various other health issues. You are easily able to buy the product online and can read more about its long list of benefits, along with the options available, if you view here.

The other type of advantageous oil includes essential aromatherapy that can help you relax by merely smelling them. Different flowers and plants offer various benefits, with lavender being a common one used by many people. You can choose to buy a diffuser or simplyuse a little bit of the oil on your wrist to instantly feel rejuvenated.

Drink tea

Given the fact that holistic health practices focus on natural and herbal remedies, it should come as no surprise that drinking tea is encouraged. Green, black and white tea all contain flavonoids, for instance, an antioxidant that reduces the risk of heart disease. Other examples include oolong, herbal, among others. Each one has a long list of antioxidants that helpspromote good health. At the end of the day,no tea is bad tea. Thus, make a point of stocking up, whether it’s mint, chamomile, rosehip, jasmine, or various others,because you can never have too much.

Get a massage

Massage therapy helps calm your muscles and relievesyou of pain. It is another notableholistic option used by many, and it improves your overall circulation as well. Anyone that has ever received a massage, even from a friend, can attest to the level of comfort that it brought, now imagine that done by a professional! Some companies evenoffer their employees annual massage opportunities as part of insurance packages, and it would be worth your time to find out if you apply for this.

Sleep

Getting enough hours of sleep a night helps everyone live their best life. The average person needs 7 to 8 hours of sleep to be well-rested and have a sharp mind for the following day. You must make a habit of going to bed at the same time and waking up consistently, even on the weekend, for your body to grow into this routine. If you find yourself easily irritated, it could be that you are simply not sleeping enough.

Get guidance

As much as you follow the various tips mentioned here, you need to connect with your spirituality and sometimes even get extra guidance. Finding a holistic practitioner does not mean you should have to travel far, you will simply have to do more research on the subject to find your perfect teacher. Remember, an expert on the subject can help you reach your goals, so it isn’t a bad idea to find someone that can help.

 You are never too busy to look after yourself. As has been made evident, holistic self-care requires you to choose natural ways to boost your wellbeing. It’s important to address all the negativeelements in your life to be happy and overall live your best life. While it may not be the first advice you hear about from medical professionals, the natural healing process helps any who pursue it. Getting friends and family on board with your plan can also help you, as you can encourage one another throughout the everyday health practices. Keep in mind that only when your health is in perfect shape will you find it easy to focus on other endeavors, such as such as your family life, your education, career, and so on.

Empathy and Communication – Shantigarbha’s New Book I’ll Meet You There

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I’d love empathy to become a household word. I’d love the book to contribute to a more compassionate world.’ – Shantigarbha

Author Shantigarbha is passionate about bringing more empathy into the world. He is a practising Buddhist with the Triratna movement, an experienced teacher of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and his name means ‘Seed of Peace’. His first book, based on years of teaching and experience with NVC, has just been published by Windhorse Publications (an independent publishing house based in Cambridge, UK).

Shantigarbha shares his life experience and inspiration for the book in an interview with Steve Yabsley on BBC Radio Bristol – listen on Soundcloud.

‘Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.’– Rumi

Shantigarbha explains, ‘That’s where I got the title of the book from. In Rumi’s field, we get connected with each other in the space that opens up when we let go of our ideas of good and bad, right and wrong. When we feel safe and connected to ourselves, we don’t need to use these labels. When we are connected to ourselves, we are also connected to the people around us.’

Stephen Batchelor, Buddhist teacher and author, finds empathy is central inI’ll Meet You There:

An excellent book on empathy that teases out the centrality of this value in Buddhism as the foundation for the cultivation of compassion and loving kindness.’

Dr Emma J Lawrence, from the Institute of Psychiatry in London, explains how science and Buddhist wisdom come together in the book:

‘Although this book is consistent with the scientific data it is also refreshingly unconstrained by it. Instead it synthesises scientific knowledge to date with age-old wisdom from the Buddhist tradition. This approach allows for deeper exploration of empathy and compassion than science, which only scratches the surface.’

Mary Mackenzie, Author of Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living in Peace, Healing and Compassionfeels the book has a wide appeal:

‘This is a book for anyone who wants hope for living in a peaceful, humane world, and who wants a guide for how to get there.’

I’ll Meet You Thereis now available from Windhorse Publications in paperback and eBook formats, or other online retailers and bookstores worldwide.

windhorsepublications.com/product/ill-meet-practical-guide-empathy-mindfulness-communication-paperback

  • by Giulietta M. Spudich (Windhorse Publications)

Mindful Meditation in Recovery

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By Crystal Hampton

According to Sober College mindfulness is the process of being actively aware of one’s own feelings in the present time, remaining neutral, and considering them without judgment. The idea of “living in the moment” is derived from being mindful and often requires several things: an intentional, conscious effort to consider what one is going through, accepting those feelings as they are, and allowing themselves to emote without being hypercritical or judgmental towards their thoughts or feelings. For those in recovery, this means developing a better way to regulate emotions and thoughts. Mindfulness asks patients to be aware of stressful situations and triggers, and how those may snowball into relapse or harmful actions.

Recovery from drugs, alcohol, and any mind altering substances requires many coping skills to live a happy, healthy and sober life.  It also lowers the chance of relapse when engaging in healthy habits such as mindful meditation. It is important for us to take care of our mind, body, and spirit even for those individuals who are not in recovery.  These practices over the course of time create new neurological pathways in the brain, or retraining your brain from the unhealthy habits in addiction to healthy ones through mindfulness.

Meditation is when individuals seek to achieve a mode of consciousness that relaxes their minds and instills a sense of contentedness. But mediation can do more than just reduce stress and pain: The practice can also play an important role in helping an individual overcome a substance abuse problem.

The Practice of Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves a purposeful and nonjudgmental focus on one’s feelings, experiences, and internal and external processes in the present moment. Rather than escape from painful feelings, mindfulness meditation encourages addicts to sit quietly with themselves and pay close attention to their thoughts and feelings without taking action to judge or “fix” them.

Depending on a person’s needs, different practices in mindfulness may be more beneficial than others. Some of these options include:

Engaging in Mindful Activities

  • Traditional meditation or guided meditation
  • Yoga and physical activity
  • Change eating habits, healthy diet
  • Being in nature

Benefits of Mindful Meditation

  • Better stress management
  • Better self-awareness
  • Improved immune system function
  • Better understanding of thoughts and feelings

Therapies for Mindfulness

Treatment for mindfulness may require the use of professional therapy which includes:

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
  • Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
  • Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR)
  • Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP)

My Personal Experience with Mindful Meditation

I was one of those people who thought that mindful meditation would never work for me, and was a waste of my time.  I could not have been more wrong! I have always suffered from anxiety, depression, racing thoughts, and insomnia. I always had feelings of impending doom even when nothing was wrong, and could never slow my mind down.  I was constantly stressed out and exhausted. When I did try to meditate I would give up after only a couple of minutes because I could not quiet my mind.

It was not until I started doing guided meditations that everything changed!  Once I pushed through the first couple of minutes, and actually gave it a chance my thoughts began to slow and my body began to relax.  It took some time but guided meditation is now a habit I engage in once or twice a day. I have found that it helps to keep me centered and has helped me with my anxiety, depression, racing thoughts, insomnia, and all aspects in my recovery.  

Guided meditation is one of the mindful tools that I utilized and works for me, everyone is different so it is important to identify which practices will work best for you and can engage in regularly.

A major key of healthy living in recovery is engaging in the mindful practices that best suit you. Consistency is quintessential and vital to maintaining a new way of living. This will provide a sense of purpose, and wellbeing.  Engaging in these activities will then make the negative habits we have engaged in for so many years less appealing, and help you achieve the happy, beautiful life in recovery you deserve!

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About the author:

Crystal Hampton, 37 years old, with 3 years sober.I work for Recovery Local, a digital marketing company that advocates spreading awareness on the disease of addiction. Our company was founded by and staffed with recovering addicts cultivating recovery resources through sharing our own experience, strength, and hope.

Q&A with Simon Parke, Author of The Secret Testament of Julian

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1. What is your book about and why did you write it?

The Secret Testament of Julian is Julian of Norwich telling her own story. She is famous for being the first woman to write a book in English, and for giving us the famous line of hope, ‘All shall be well’.

But the more I pondered her writings, the more I pondered the woman behind the writings and wanted to give her a life of her own. Sometimes spiritual writers, with their fine-sounding phrases, seem to float three feet above everyday life. So I wanted to put this remarkable woman right in the middle of life, knee-deep in difficulty, where the rest of us are. And if her words can live in the emotional desolation of the 14th century, then truly, they can live anywhere.

2. Julian Norwich lived in a cell for forty years. Was she confined to the cell or could she go outside? How did she spend her time?

Julian was probably confined to her cell all the time. Some anchoresses had small gardens or could go into the church adjoining their cell. But not all – and there’s no evidence this was so for Julian. In my story, I even suggest reasons why she did not want it to be so, why she wanted to be completely enclosed.

But the initial walling in of the anchoress, stone by stone, must still have been a time of terror. The bishop outside conducted a service of burial, they listened to their own funeral – for they would never now leave their cell, until they were carried out dead. (And some went mad at this containment.) As to how they spent their time, I’d imagine it varied, depending on the person. Clearly they would recite all or most of the eight daily offices of the church. People would also come to their ‘Visitors window’ for counselling. I suspect this was an important part of Julian’s life, for her writing is both keenly aware of suffering and kind to the human spirit.

And she’ll have spent a fair amount of time writing; she re-wrote her Revelations, with a shorter version becoming a longer version. And I’m sure she read. She must have been aware of others writing in English. (There’s no evidence she could read or write Latin.) Perhaps one or two of these books were smuggled in, away from the bishop’s gaze? And she may also have been a weaver, like some other anchoresses. She’d enjoy cheese or fresh Norwich herring on special days. But no TV…and no smart phones. How did she survive?

3. How did she find optimism is such conditions?

That’s a very good question, because there wasn’t much optimism around her at the time. 14th century England was particularly bleak, with repeated famines, terrible bouts of the plague (estimated to have killed well over half of her home town of Norwich) and political unrest and repression…while the church responded to people’s suffering by majoring on hell in their sermons, as did the many wall paintings in the churches, which routinely featured the flames awaiting the damned.

But somehow Julian spoke differently…there was really no similarity at all. And the evidence strongly suggests that Julian’s unique voice, completely counter-intuitive to her times, came from a set of visions given to her when she was thirty-three, and which she spent the rest of her life contemplating and growing into. It is rare in history that such a different voice emerges. Indeed, it still sounds different today, which may explain the intense interest in her work. There are Julian Groups everywhere!

The contemplative Thomas Merton believed her to be, along with Cardinal Newman, the greatest English theologian…yet she was a woman with no theological training. So how did that happen?


4. She was the first woman in the world to write a book in English. Can you say more about that?

The 14th century was the time when the English language emerged from the shadows of the French and Latin spoken by the elite. And it emerged in the brilliant minds of writers like Geoffrey Chaucer and John Langland…and, rather differently, in the minds of the anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing and Julian of Norwich. As she says to her vicar in my story, ‘We chatter in English, we weep in English, we scream in English, we love in English, we barter in English, we sing in English – so why do we not write in English?’

But writing in the native tongue was not encouraged by the church. They regarded it as a subversive act, making God much too common. ‘We speak of turnips in English. We can hardly use the same language for God!’ Latin, which few could understand, was thought to maintain his mystery.

And as for a woman writing in English!? As some of the friars said, ‘The devil laughs when a woman writes!’

But perhaps Julian was unimpressed by the devil and didn’t listen to him greatly.

5. Why did she pray for a near-death experience and did she ever have one?

She certainly had one, for she speaks about it in pained detail in her book, The Revelations of Divine Love. And she writes about it because it was during this trauma that she was given the visions which changed her life. Those around her assumed she was dying, she assumed she was dying and, after all, death was no stranger to their home…she had probably already lost her father, husband and child. The priest had even given her the last rites. But having lost all feeling in both her upper and lower body, and while gazing on the cross, another world opened, and over the next few hours her remarkable ‘showings’ were given to her.

She admits that as a child she prayed for a near-death experience such as this, which seems odd at first sight. Why would you?

It’s possible she was influenced in this prayer by stories from Europe where women in particular brought suffering on themselves as an act of devotion. Catherine of Sienna, in deciding to eat only the bread of the Eucharist, effectively starved herself to death.

Though I believe there may have been more particular reasons why Julian prayed for this terrible experience, and I consider these in the book.

6. And finally – was Julian great?

Greatness is an interesting thing, there are different sorts. When most people think of great women, they think of women of action – whether the child-warrior Joan of Arc, the steely Queen Elizabeth 1, the brave suffragette Emily Pankhurst, the reforming Florence Nightingale or the courageous human rights campaigner Rosa Parks. These women were out there in the world, taking bold action. I believe Julian was equally great – but great in a cell, doing nothing. She lived a life of extreme entrapment; yet knew and wrote of a freedom that still tantalises seven hundred years after her death. In an activist world, such greatness appears incomprehensible. How can you be remarkable doing nothing? How can you stay indoors… and be great? And perhaps that’s the question that led me to write my novel.

‘The Secret Testament of Julian’ is published by White Crow books.

Q&A with Beth Ricanati, MD, author of Braided: A Journey of a Thousand Challahs

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Below is my Q&A with Beth Ricanati, MD, author of Braided: A Journey of a Thousand Challahs.

1. What is your book about and why did you write it?

Braided chronicles my journey of learning to make challah, and in the process learning how to slow down and be present.

2. So you’ve made challah from scratch every Friday (give or take a few) for the past ten years. What inspired this tradition?

A friend suggested ten years ago that I make challah for the Jewish New Year (this coming week!). I had never done anything like this, and quickly got hooked.

3. How has this meaningful ritual helped you cultivate new and strengthen old relationships?

Making bread together is a wonderful way to both create and sustain community. I often make challah with other women, most of whom I know but some that I don’t. Standing at a kitchen counter with a group of women, all of our hands in bowls of dough, sharing stories, is a very moving, powerful experience. What was your family’s reaction over the years? They love the challah! Our children’s friends love the challah. It’s a great way to bring everyone home for dinner on a Friday night!

4. You spend a chapter of your book taking a deep dive into the six ingredients that make up challah. As a physician, what is your argument for baking this white loaf on a weekly basis?

I believe in food as medicine ~ what foods we eat matter, the quality of those foods matter. Whenever possible, I favor organic foods, lots of fruits and vegetables and protein; low sugar and even lesser amounts of processed foods. And with all that said, I also believe in moderation. I don’t each much white anymore – white flour, white bread, white pasta – but a piece (or two or three!) of challah once a week is more than ok. Challah is special; it nourishes us both physically and spiritually, so for me to have a little white flour once a week in this setting is more than ok.

5. Over the past ten years you’ve experimented with these ingredients – what type of sugar, what type of eggs, what type of flour, etc. What did you discover?

(See answer 4!) If possible, I want the healthiest option available ~ I’ve learned about organic, free range eggs, organic sugar and flour, organic non-gmo canola oil! And with all that said, this is a loaf of bread shared by many and we do the best that we can do, so if organic is not your thing or you can’t get a certain kind of egg, so be it.

6. There’s often a fear by amateur bakers around recipes that call for yeast – did you find working with yeast challenging at the beginning, and how do you feel about it now, ten years into the baking tradition?

I had no idea how to work with yeast! Fortunately, my friend answered many questions that first day ~ I didn’t know what it meant to proof the yeast, what the bubbles would look like, etc. Since then, I’ve experimented and come to realize that it always works out as long as I make sure the water is warm enough. I realize now that some weeks the bowl with the water and yeast and sugar will look different, and that’s ok!

7. Your book is about your journey baking challah specifically as your personal weekly habit – but can the benefits and lessons learned from this meditative behavior transfer to other habits or hobbies if, say, I don’t want to bake bread every week?

Absolutely! I believe that we all need meaningful rituals in our lives; I think they are a great prescription for stress, for example. While I love that making challah is my meaningful ritual, I think that these behaviors are applicable across the board. Maybe you like to garden, or take photographs, for example.

 

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About the author:

BETH RICANATI, MD has built her career around bringing wellness into women’s everyday lives,especially busy moms juggling life and children. She received her undergraduate degree from the University of Pennsylvania and her MD from Case Western Reserve University; she completed her internal medicine residency at Columbia Presbyterian in NYC. She spent ten years in practice at the Columbia Presbyterian’s Women’s Health Center, the Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Women’s Health, and the Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Institute.

In addition to the frequent online writing that she does now, Ricanati has been a guest contributor for television, print, and online media, and has published medical articles in peer-reviewed journals. Ricanati lives in the Los Angeles area with her family and one challah-loving dog.

10 ways relaxation can benefit you

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If you are greatly in love with your work this is surely going to help you to climb the ladder of success faster than anyone else. You’ll be a role model at to many. There’ll be a hefty pay cheque coming your way.

But in the middle of all this chaos, do you feel lethargic from time to time? Do you feel like your body is giving up on you? Well, this is maybe because you are overburdening yourself with work and everything.

Relax! Being hardworking and dynamic is necessary, but so is relaxation. Even your high configuration laptop is going to get overheated if you run it for too long. You have to let it cool down.

So let’s take a look at all the health benefits that come along with relaxation.

  1. Relaxation for your Heart

It’s now widely accepted that excess stress can take a toll on your heart. You’ll have increased blood pressure, palpitation and what not.

Relaxing allows your heart to take a break from all tiresome emotions. It allows your stress to pass away. So, take care of your heart. Relax a bit and disconnect yourself from the world of chaos for some time.

  1. Relaxation protects you from a Cold

Sounds weird right? But it’s true. Psychologists have concluded that prolonged stress increases your chances of catching a cold and it’s only going to make things worse for you.

A recent research has discovered that excess stress diminishes your body’s ability to fight inflammation. The end result-your body becomes more and more vulnerable.

So relaxing can help your body a fight against different kinds of distresses including cold.

  1. Relaxation Helps to Enhance your Memory

Relaxation helps the prefrontal cortex to remain stress-free. This is the part of the brain which enables us to conduct cognitive thinking.

Researchers closely observed mice and discovered that stress often affects their memory as well as learning ability. The same consequences are expected to happen as far as the human brain is concerned.

So if you don’t want your brain to get struck by the “Jason Bourne syndrome” all of a sudden, relaxation is the key.

  1. Relaxation protects you from Stroke

A study shows that relaxation helps to reduce the probability of stroke significantly. It helps the human brain to stay calm and focused.

A large number of people were found to be under far greater risk of suffering from brain stroke who lived a stressful life.

  1. Relaxation is your Defense against Depression

Did you know that Japan has one of the highest rates of suicide? Being one of the biggest economies of the world, Japanese people are renowned for their lavish lifestyle. Yet, what exactly makes their people so prone to suicide?

The answer is clear and simple- depression. The Japanese are widely known for their long working hours. While this might have helped their economy grow, the mental health of the general people, however, paid the ultimate price.

Lack of relaxation has led to serious depression among thousands of Japanese people and across the world. Eventually, it led to innumerable suicides.

  1. Relaxation Helps with Decision Making

A relaxed mind is a calm mind. A calm person is more eligible to take correct decisions. How many hot heads have you seen in your life to be truly successful? Few.

So if you want to be an excellent decision maker, you need to have a calm mind. And it can only be ensured through relaxation.

  1. Relaxing helps you to Avoid Gaining Weight

When we’re under excess stress, we begin to panic and often depression gets the better of us. Many people have the tendency of overeating to release their stress i.e. stress-eating. Result? Excessive weight gain!

So chill. This is not only essential for your heart and mind, but for your overall physical state as well.

  1. Relaxing Helps to Reduce Acne

Excess stress is one of the common sources of acne. It is found that under stress, our skin produces excess oil which often leads to acne.

So make sure that you’re making more “me times” to cool your head. Don’t let stress get the better of you. This will surely help you to fight acne as well.

  1. Relaxation helps you to be in a Better Mood

Quite obvious isn’t it? When you’re relaxing, naturally you’ll be in good mood. Everything will feel positive and comforting.

Being relaxed will also help you enhance productivity, improving your performance.

Have you seen those grumpy faces that are never in a good mood? Well, the only reason for that is- they’re never relaxing. They’re always tensed and stressed out. Don’t be one of them.

  1. Relaxing Helps to Improve your Interpersonal Skills

When you’re relaxed, you’re all calm and serene. You can think clearly and strategically. At your relaxed state, you’ll find yourself being cooperative and humble towards others.

This is definitely going to help you to have better relations with others- both at work and home. Often stress can lead to psychological outbursts which only leads to an awkward moment.

This will clearly affect your personal and professional relationship with others.

Conclusion

So relax, relax and relax. Don’t let yourself get overburdened by stress and all kinds of negativity. There’ll always be time to work hard and take all the challenges coming your way.

But time to time, you just need to sit down and relax. Hang out with your friends or listen to some music. Hit the road for a long drive. Get away from all the chaos.

Get a recliner for your home where you can sit and relax after a hard day’s work. This will surely help you to get all charged up for the next day.

Author Bio:

Shawn is a content writer at FeedFond. A tech-geek and a fitness freak, he loves sharing his ideas with his readers. To read more of his articles, visit FeedFond.com.

 

How to Increase your Sense of Wellbeing

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Wellbeing is how happy and healthy we are, both physically and mentally. Most of us will have some areas of our general well-being and wellness that we can improve upon in order to make our lives better. Having a low sense of well-being affects everything we do, from how we feel throughout our day to how we cope with the challenges that come with life. If you are looking for ways to improve your health and increase your well-being, this guide gives you some tips.

Eat a Healthy Diet

Eating foods that are good for us not only nourishes our bodies, but it makes us feel good about ourselves too.

Eat a diet that incorporates a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, nuts, and proteins to give you the right amounts of all the vitamins and minerals you need to stay healthy, happy, and well. When you eat properly, it helps support your immune system, meaning you are less likely to pick up viruses and colds, and it helps to keep you looking good too!

It’s important to always choose fresh foods over processed, as processed foods often contain more sugars, additives and other chemicals that can be harmful to health.

Having a healthy eating plan will help you to work out what meals to cook during the week, and what healthy snacks to have, and this will help you stick to your eating goals.

Exercise Regularly

Making an effort to exercise regularly can transform your health and wellbeing for the better. Exercise helps your body to flush out toxins that are expelled through sweat, it improves lung and heart health and helps you to lose weight if you need to (and want to).

Exercise also benefits our mental state too, by releasing happy hormones (known as endorphins), and serotonin that elevates our moods and lowers our sense of pain.

Try to do some exercise daily that leaves your heart pumping and you feeling temporarily out of breath. It could be a brisk walk, a ten-minute jog, or a few laps of your local swimming pool. Choose a form of exercise that you enjoy, so you are more likely to keep up with it. It also helps if you have a friend to exercise with, as you can hold each other accountable.

Develop Your Inner Being

Your mental outlook is the lens through which you view the world, so in order tohave a good sense of well-being,you need to make sure that lens is a happy and healthy one.

Takes steps to let go of any negative thoughts that hold you back, and see yourself for what you are. There are relaxation techniques that can help you get closer to your inner being, such as meditation.

Daily meditation is beneficial to your health and well-being, as it calms the mind and brings focus on the present moment. Meditation can be a journey of self-discovery that helps you to feel energized, improves your ability to solve problems and tackle any issue in your life with positivity.

Understand Your Emotions

Too often we try to protect ourselves from the negative emotions we feel, and this can have the opposite effect and do more harm than good. For example, we might begin to compensate by comfort eating or other unhealthy habits, or we might develop anxiety or depression.

To prevent this, we should all make the effort just to allow ourselves to feel the emotions we feel, and accept them. Once we allow ourselves to be fully present in our emotions, negative feelings pass more quickly, and you’ll begin to view things in a more positive way than you once did.

Socialize

Spending time with friends and loved ones is also a key part in having positive well-being, so even if you are very busy with work or other commitments, make the time to connect with someone special every day.

Socializing brings health benefits such as improving mood. Plus, having healthy connections with others may even lower the risk of dementia when you get older.

Self-Development

Those with a good sense of well-being are people who look inward from time to time and evaluate where they are on a variety of scales, such as personal health, wealth, social life and happiness. When you focus your attention in this way, it helps you to see what you are doing well and what is lacking.

It is a good idea to set yourself some goals that take you out of your comfort zone, as this is what helps us to grow. For example, you might decide to talk to the stranger you see every day on the bus, to find a more challenging job, or to learn a new skill. When you achieve your goal of pushing yourself a little, it affirms that you are capable of more than you think and helps increase happiness and well-being.

Change Negative Influences

We all have things in our lives that sometimes make us feel unhappy, drained or stressed, and to increase your sense of well-being, you need to work out what they are and how you can remove them.

For example, you might hate your job but feel stuck there, too afraid to make the move to change. Or, perhaps you have a relationship that is unhealthy, having a detrimental effect on your happiness or quality of life. Sometimes, we just need the courage to do something about it. So, look carefully at your life to see what those negative influences are, and how you can change things for the better.

Your sense of well-being is important as it affects your happiness. When we feel happy, it shows in everything we do, and in turn,we make other people aroundus happier too. There are small changes you can make right now to increase your well-being, so don’t wait! Then you can gradually make the bigger changes you need to enhance your life even more. Learn how to care for yourself both physically and emotionally, and see the positive effects it has on all areas of life.

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