1. What is Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness to Light and why did you write it?

Becoming Starlight is/was truly my life and death struggle with spiritual darkness and loss of faith. Having been raised within a very loving and supportive family, I was totally unprepared for the tragedy that would find its way into my life. I had no idea how to deal with life and death issues so, when death came knocking on my door and spirited away my newborn daughter, I fell into an abyss that had no end. Her death, followed a few years later by the death of my husband, became the impetus for what became the most transformative moment of my life — enter the SDE (Shared Death Experience) and my night among the stars. Becoming Starlight chronicles my journey from death and despair to being held, cocooned within and becoming one with the Presence that lives in Starlight — God Himself.

I wrote Becoming Starlight for two reasons. By way of explanation, I work with seriously ill, terminal patients and their families. The question they ask more than any other is “Should I be afraid”. I understand that question on such an intimate level because that is the very question that burned a hole in my Soul but one I didn’t have the courage to ask or, quite possibly one I didn’t want to become vulnerable to! When confronted with a life altering diagnosis, even the strongest and most fearless among us don’t know how to face that worst of all trauma and the darkest of all emotion in life. The fear of abandonment by God, the fear of leaving your family, the fear of falling into nothingness, the fear of losing yourself to the darkness and to the unknown — your gut responds, your jaw drops, and the true nature of your humanity emerges: mortality — and you fall. It’s a shattering loss that causes previously unknown fear and anxiety to blot out all other emotion.

So, for them, I wrote Becoming Starlight. For years, I have told all my patients about my Starlight night — my SDE — in an effort to dispel some of the fear. When that question is asked, as it always is, I take each one of them in my arms, hold them tightly and tell them my story of great loss and despair and the eventual renewal within God’s presence. Giving them part of my Starlight night in hopes they will understand that they are part of all creation; part of something they do not fully understand; part of something so much bigger than themselves; something they cannot see or hear or touch or even imagine; that they are part of God himself; a part of the permanence of all Creation — to dispel the fear of losing themselves to the nothingness of the darkness is something I try to bring to them as I tell them about the light of God that I was taken into. They have all asked me to “write it down, tell the story” so they could have access to my words when we weren’t together — so I did.

The other reason I wrote Becoming Starlight is because the loves of my life mattered. They were here and their lives, however short, were important. They are the shadows of my Spirit and are ever present in my life. Their story needed to be told to help others face great tragedy with hope and courage.

2. What is a Shared Death Experience? What does it feel like? How did it change my perspective?

The SDE is almost identical to the NDE except that the SDE occurs not to the person who is dying, but to their loved one who is physically well. That person could be sitting right next to their dying loved one, or sitting across the room, or even be across the globe unaware of the impending death of someone they love. They could be sound asleep or wide awake — makes no difference. Location or activity level is of no consequence to the SDE. That person is “invited along” to witness the aftermath of physical death. The invitation extended has no RSVP — the person accompanying the dying individual can neither accept nor refuse — they are just “taken” or “given” the experience.

The experience itself is mind altering as it causes a complete shift in the attributes of the physical world as we know it. By that, I mean the room changes shape as it eventually disappears; the ceiling vanishes and becomes mist; the floor upon which you are standing is no longer visible; you find yourself no longer in the physical world as you have always known it. You see all manner of magnificence..and you can see and hear and touch the person or persons that “brought” you with them into another realm of being. Confusing, exciting, amazingly peaceful and calming all jumbled up with joy and unimaginable love…all directed at you.

These experiences are life altering. Everything I thought I knew about life and death, about love and God, about what happens after physical death-was all wrong! My SDE changed everything about my life and changed it radically! The belief/religious traditions of my entire family changed because of my SDE. I found that what I had believed in all my life was diametrically opposed to what I “saw” and “felt” in that place within Starlight. Discovering that I was a part of God…that He lived in me and I in Him…that He is not separate from us and that there can never be a separation from Him-changed my life.

3. The book talks about a wide range of emotions and experiences including a fall from grace and inconsolable rage. Can you talk a little bit about those emotions and experiences. What sparked them? Were they helpful or hurtful? And, what did you learn from them?

In Becoming Starlight I try to explain the emotional trauma that hit me square in the face when I lost my daughter. All my life I had been taught that God was watching over me and that He would protect me from harm. I believed if I behaved in a certain manner then HE would do likewise..I discovered that belief to be absolutely false and, when my baby girl died — I blamed God. Having never been exposed to tragedy in any way whatsoever-I was completely defenseless against death — I had no idea what to do, how to behave, how to understand this, who to talk to, who to share my emotions and thoughts with, where to go for help-nothing..no idea whatsoever how to handle her death. My only response was anger..extreme anger which turned to rage. Frustration at life and living turned inward and resulted in an inconsolable despair that tormented me constantly. I simply did not understand why or how God could take a little baby and leave such desolation. The God I had been taught about; ie that most benevolent, all loving, caring, compassionate God who takes care of “His children” simply did not exist. And, if there were a God at all — he was a vengeful, hateful evil “thing” that I would spend the rest of my life fighting against. Nothing could sway me from my intended goal of destroying anything that even smacked of a loving compassionate God. Grief and despair borne of hatred, frustration and rage turned inward almost destroyed me.

A few years after my daughter’s death, I lost my husband. During his illness, my rage at God or at that “thing” I considered God to be escalated to a frenzied state that left me in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Not knowing how to handle these raw emotions and not having anyone to share them with was almost unbearable. These negative emotions took such a toll on my physical well-being and left me gasping for air but knowing that I had to maneuver myself through the loneliness and despair in order to help and offer “hope” to my husband, I somehow had to find the strength to keep going and keep breathing.

That strength didn’t come easily..I still don’t know how I managed to physically and emotionally survive all this …but it was the intervention of God Himself — at the moment of my husband’s death — His gift, granted to me through magnificent love, in the form of a Shared Death Experience that brought me back to life and love. Being gifted with a new-found relationship with the God that I always wished existed but had never known in my entire life set me a path to living a life that was full of joy and peace…dispelling the rage and despair from my heart. Discovering that I existed purely because He thought of me…and then gave life to that thought..was thrilling beyond measure! Knowing that there is nowhere that He is not and that there can never be a separation from His love sent all loneliness packing and left me with a peace beyond all else.

4. Why do you think there is such a fear of death if most people believe in an afterlife where we will exist in a state of peace with our loved ones?

Most people say they believe in an afterlife. Most all religions and belief traditions have some version of a Heaven and a Hell. And, as comforting or terrifying as those traditions may be, and as much as we say “we believe” —when the time comes for us to face death — those belief traditions can falter and leave us in a state of complete shock and fear. How best to alleviate that fear? That’s a difficult question. We are born with such an innate self-preservation instinct that, when confronted with danger — the fight or flight mindset takes over our every thought and action. We spend our lives in denial of our own mortality and of those we love. “Don’t worry, that’s not us” or “That stuff happens to the other guy” seems to be the mantra in times of difficulty and fear. The fear of death is, next to public speaking — the number one fear of all humanity.

Why? It’s the great unknown! If we look at the fear experienced — it’s the fear of the darkness, the void, the unbecoming, the nothingness — the fear of disappearing into the blackness and the “what’s out there?” We can’t imagine ourselves as “not here” or “not anymore” and that thought can be terrifying. Losing oneself to the “nothingness”, dealing with something so foreign and unknown as death — that fear cannot simply be pushed aside by “I believe in an afterlife”. Especially when that belief is based on nothing more than family tradition passed down and never questioned.

We never talk about death to each other, to our children, to our friends — as a matter of fact — we don’t talk about death at all! We fill out our medical directives, choose our proxy’s then put them away where they lay forgotten —sometimes for years. Why? Because truly contemplating our death requires entering a realm of emotion previously untouched and unacknowledged -– a realm that is protected by that giant self-preservation instinct that keeps us safe from knowing that loss of self is even possible! Talking about it, sharing it, truly feeling it is something none of us want to do-so we hide behind the “I believe” statements as if they will be our lifeline and grant us immortality. The belief in an afterlife fundamentally changes when illness and possible death enter the equation. It’s so easy to say the words but very difficult to live those words when a belief statement is based solely on family tradition. The source of that fear comes from a never fully realized relationship with belief!

If, however, there have been some conversations surrounding the “what if’s” of life — those conversations make it much easier for one to express the fears they feel. Getting those fears and anxieties out of the body, out into the open is all important and can help to alleviate some of the fear and anxiety.

The fear of death is primal. You can say “I believe” constantly but the innate fear of losing oneself to the unknown still remains and the doubt — the doubt is the ego’s way of laying claim to the humanity that we all share. We don’t understand death. We don’t look at it nor do we accept it as part of life. And something we don’t accept — we push aside and never look at so, when we are confronted with it — we have no idea how to feel or behave or what to believe!

Remember, even Jesus Christ Himself suffered anxiety and tremendous fear while in the Garden of Gethsemane. And He really believed!

5. How can we decrease or better manage our fear of death?

The only possible way to decrease the fear of death is to talk about it, face it, and deal with it! Facing all the negative emotions that raise their ugly heads is difficult at best. But, denying them only leads to more fear and anxiety. Refusing to surrender to the mortality that is inherent in all life instead of facing it down, plowing through it, grabbing it by the throat and introducing yourself wholly and fully, with all your flaws and fears up front and growling — refusing to confront the realities of life — is a good way to lose yourself to the darkness. You must travel through those realities to find your way out of the maze of fear that has you by the throat. To enter your Soul you must confront all the human thoughts and nonsense you have been exposed to all your life and start the “ripping off” process — it’s there that fear can be unearthed and dealt with. You must challenge yourself to look deep inside your Spirit to find the truth of who you really are and the truth of your mortality — that’s where “I believe” lives…and that “I Believe”, based on more than tradition, dispels the darkness and the fear of the unknown. Once you discover your true self, in and of God-fear cannot survive.

6. Anything else?

There’s always something else, isn’t there! Especially when death and fear run rampant in our hearts. Letting fear take over your life leads to such an emptiness — one that is so very difficult to get through. The feeling of complete and utter desolation…and loneliness …can only be dispelled by one thing when we are facing our death or the death of someone we love — and that one thing is discovering the complete, overriding and always present love of God. Learning to trust in the abiding Presence and ever constant communion with God even in the darkest of times and the cataclysms of life can strip away the fear and anxiety that accompanies all disease and loss of life. Sitting quietly in His Presence, taking in the truth of who we are to Him and who He is to us; allowing yourself to sit in the silence that is His gift to you; being in that place where love was born and where darkness cannot enter — fear doesn’t stand a chance!

Please know that you are never alone. There can never be a separation from God. Nothing on this earth or any other could ever separate you from the love of He Who thought of you and then breathed life into that thought. And remember-death is merely the door that opens the way back to home. Belief in an afterlife — the afterlife is simply going home!

About the Author:

Dr. Sharon Prentice is the author of Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness to Light.Soon after completing her graduate studies in psychology, Dr. Prentice longed to discover “the why’s” about her own intimate experience with death in the form of an SDE, and that of others who had experienced something “weird, unbelievable, odd” at the time of the death of a loved one. Dr. Prentice is in private practice as a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor – Advanced Certification. She is also a Board Certified Spiritual Counselor (SC-C) and holds Board Certification in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Group Therapy, Integrated Marriage and Family Therapy, and Crisis and Abuse Therapy. She is also a Board Certified Temperament Counselor. Dr. Prentice is a Professional Member of the American Counselors Association, a Professional Clinical member of the National Christian Counselors Association, a Clinical member of the American Mental Health Counselors Association, and a Presidential member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. She is also a Commissioned Minister of Pastoral Care. For more information, please visit https://sharonprentice.com and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter.

When you get yourself a wheelchair because of a condition or a disability, you may realize that it might take time to reacquaint yourself with how you do things. After all, getting a wheelchair is like getting a pair of eyeglasses – there are particular sets of “ways” on how to use them efficiently, and they become your new partners in crime. Sometimes, however, it’s unavoidable to feel a bit helpless or overwhelmed with this new tool, as after all some might think this is a sign of weakness. However, it may be important to realize that there’s more to a wheelchair than meets the eye. Once you learn how to connect with yourself better when you’re in a lightweight wheelchair, you may actually finally be able to start reaching for your dreams again.

 Wheelchairs: What Are The Numbers Behind It?

If you feel as though you’re alone in your situation, however, that’s where you’re mistaken. According to the World Health Organization,around 15-percent of the world’s population actually have some kind of disability, with 2 to 4-percent of them actually experiencing some significant challenges in terms of how they function.

However, this doesn’t mean there’s no remedy for their situation. Wheelchairs exist in order to help provide people with difficulties walking with better forms of mobility. In the United States alone, more than 3.6-million individuals over the age of 15 actually use wheelchairs, and 98-percent of public transportation there are in fact built to make sure they can accommodate wheelchair users. 17.4-percent of wheelchair users in the US actually have jobs as well – which means it’s perfectly possible for you to pursue your dreams even if you have wheelchairs that are lightweight.

Lightweight Wheelchairs: Connecting With Yourself Better

 With the above statistics, it’s important to understand that there’s more to life even after needing to be in a lightweight wheelchair. Understanding first the importance of why you need to master your wheelchair as though it’s an extension of yourself can open a lot of opportunities. Here’s how to make it a better part of you:

• Get to the root of your concerns: Getting a wheelchair and knowing you need to use one can be frustrating, especially if it’s your first time and you know you’re going to use it for a long time. However, as much as it’s frustrating, it’s important to get to the root of your frustration so you know exactly what’s bothering you with the idea of the wheelchair. Is the wheelchair unattractive? Does using a wheelchair make you feel weak? Do you feel as though using a wheelchair can hinder your dreams? Knowing the root of your concerns can help put you in a better state of mind when it comes to coping and managing your woes.
• Acknowledge the need to use the wheelchair, and recognize its benefits: One of the hardest but most important steps to connecting yourself when using a wheelchair is to acknowledge the need to use one. When you have to use a wheelchair because of a disability or a medical condition, sometimes it’s difficult to accept you need to be in a wheelchair because of the impression that it makes you “weak.” Try not to listen to that voice inside your head that tells you as such, and instead try to project an aura of positivity with your wheelchair. Having a wheelchair provides you with a whole host of benefits you can take advantage of, and slowly realizing this can greatly make the process much easier to handle.
• Treat your wheelchair as though it were an extension of yourself: If you’ve ever been the kind of person to get into martial arts or to be in a sport or hobby that involves holding or using anything, you’ve likely heard of the phrase “…is an extension of yourself.” If you’re a fencer, or a basketball player, or even an artist, it’s likely that your rapier, basketball, and even pen will be your most trusted tool – and as such, it’s important for you to get to know them. You should do the same thing to your wheelchair, as it’s become an extension of your limbs. Treating your wheelchair as a vital part of your body can get you on the right mindset that mastery over its movement is crucial to fulfilling your dreams, which can be a great asset in the long run.
• Study how your wheelchair works properly: When you receive any kind of wheelchair, it’s likely that they’ll work the same way. They have handles on the back to have someone help you maneuver the wheelchair when necessary, but even without the handles, wheelchairs are designed to be maneuvered by the person sitting on them. Easy as this may sound, mastery over your wheelchair’s movement can be tricky to achieve. Study how your wheelchair works – down to the specific kinks and parts, in order to get a better sense on how you can maneuver it better. Knowing how your wheelchair works can at least make sure you get more confident in using it, as you know exactly what goes on as you move it around. In speaking of,
• Learn how to make your wheelchair a unique part of you: When you get yourself a wheelchair, especially specialized wheelchairs such as a lightweight one, it’s likely that it will work differently compared to other wheelchairs. However, you can actually try to make it exclusively “yours” by adding your personality to the wheelchair. This isn’t to say you should make your wheelchair your imaginary friend (unless you want to), but rather to add your unique “spin” to how it works. Do you have a particular “unique” talent with your body – such as beatboxing, or folding your tongue? Try to learn how to maneuver your wheelchair uniquely in order to have more fun while using it. Is there a safe way to incorporate it into dancing, or can you do tricks with it, or have you found an easier way to move it around that others don’t use? Be confident and claim those special “talents” for your wheelchair.
• Customize your wheelchair to your specific needs: Everyone is unique, and sometimes you show this through the way you dress or act. Some people don’t like being in wheelchairs because they think it’s limiting to their expression, but this isn’t exactly the case. You can in fact make the wheelchair a means of expressing your creative identity – and you can do this through customization. Consult your wheelchair provider, but confirm if there are ways you can add extensions or unique additions to your wheelchairs that won’t sacrifice maneuverability and performance. Can you customize the wheels, or are there ways to make it sturdier and adaptable to other terrain? Can you add a cup holder or a small desk so you can read books comfortably?
• Study your environment carefully as well: Aside from mastering the art of using your wheelchair, it’s important that you take your time studying your environment as well – as this is where you’ll be moving your wheelchair. Just how wheelchair-friendly is your home, your school, or your place of work? Are there ways to help make these places more apt for your needs? If not, what can you do to adjust? Knowing these can make you feel more in control and more confident with yourself.
• Surround yourself with positivity: Sometimes, all you need is a bit of positivity in order to get the strength you need to adjust. A lot of people still experience prejudice because of their disabilities or because of using wheelchairs, but a lot of strong networks also exist for the very same people. Try to find a safe space in your community for other wheelchair users – such as a charity, an organization, or even a club – that would provide you with the kind of positive atmosphere you need to be able to cope better.
• Seek professional help if needed: If the methods above aren’t working, consider talking to a professional as to your difficulties connecting yourself with the wheelchair. Sometimes, it takes a neutral voice and a safe space in order to get to the root of your concerns and be able to find better ways of establishing a better “connection” between you and your wheelchair. Don’t be embarrassed or afraid of seeking help, as sometimes this kind of assistance is exactly what you need in order to have a more comfortable time.

Conclusion: Connecting With Yourself Better Is Possible

Like with any tool, appliance, or equipment, getting to know your wheelchair and using it efficiently takes time and effort. This is especially more so when you have wheelchairs that are lightweight, as they are significantly easier to use and have better maneuverability. If you feel as though using a wheelchair is starting to overwhelm you, you may need to start treating it like an extension of yourself. Learning how to connect with yourself better when you’re in a wheelchair can greatly help you find better ways of using it, and may even be the companion you need to constantly reach for your dreams.

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Carol Gibbins

Carol Gibbins believes in the power of writing to be able to touch the hearts and minds of readers, and this is exactly what motivates her to pursue a career as a blogger and contributor for sites such as Disability Friendly. Her penchant to write pieces with a unique and creative flair has allowed her to both entertain and inform her readers on various issues and topics related to healthcare and medicine.

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Summary: Explore the ten most amazing health benefits of yoga

Yoga is trending everywhere in the globe. From an adult to the elderly, from a celebrity to the humble one, from a saint to a sportsperson, the art of yoga is leaving its prints on a majority of human souls. The ones who are already acquainted with this art form can level up with the reasons behind the popularity and acceptance of the science. However, the ones who are still waiting for their calling when they would like to take up the study and practice of this science are not quite aware of its outstanding qualities.

Yoga, as deep and ingrained as this science is presents a number of intrinsic and extrinsic benefits to the practicing individuals. All one needs to develop is patience for the science to display its results. Slowly, softly and steadily, Yoga works towards complete reformation and upheaval of the mind, body and soul.

The science of Yoga comes with several remarkable advantages that work towards holistic well being of a person. Shortlisted, here are ten of the most amazing health benefits of yoga:

Simulates Parasympathetic Nervous System

While most forms of workout aggravates the parasympathetic nervous system towards developing reactions of anger, frustration or escaping the given situation, Yoga works towards the other direction by simulating it. The lowered blood pressure and slowed breathing rate that causes the simulation of parasympathetic nervous system works towards inner healing and proposes mental calm.

Improved Cardiovascular Capacity

Practice of yoga asanas result in a slower pulse rate and a more stabilized respiratory system. Both of these qualities help in improvising the coronary function of the heart, while more blood is pumped with minimum pulse rate. This is one of the most vouched for yoga benefits as cardiac problems are some of the most prevalent issues in today’s society.

Promotes Weight Loss

Regular practice of yoga is highly useful in increasing the metabolic rate of the body. This increased BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) is one of the most outstanding health benefits of yoga as it helps in losing excess fat while the asanas also work towards improving the muscle tone of the body.

Slows Down the Ageing Process

There are specific yoga asanas that promote detoxification and simulate the production of collagen substance in the body. This not only slows down the ageing process but also imparts a beautiful glow to the skin.

Improves Posture and Increases Body Awareness

Yoga practice is a highly sophisticated art form that requires proper balance, hand-eye coordination for performing the asanas well. The regular breathing practice combined with complete focus while practicing the asanas increases body awareness. We become more immaculate in our movements and our posture.

Promotes Better Sleep

There are certain yoga asanas which are practiced for restorative purposes and complete relaxation of the entire body and spirit. These yoga asanas promote deep and peaceful sleep and, also work towards eliminating signs of stress, depression and anxiety that hinder the sleep cycle.

Connects the Mind and Soul with the Body

As the yogis develop a connection between their body and their breathing while concentrating on the asanas, these elements together help them brace their inner being, a strong bond between the body and soul is formed during yoga practice.

Promotes functioning of Internal Organs

There are over thousands of yoga asanas in the majestic science. Each of the asanas have unique qualities and advantages that work towards enhanced functioning of the various internal organs of the body including spleen, liver, intestines, lungs, kidneys, thyroid gland, heart and more.

Endocrine functions

With regular practice of yoga, hormonal imbalance can be managed and controlled. This helps in proper functioning of the endocrine glands and keeps a body physically and emotionally balanced.

Treats Various Kinds of Ailments

Yoga is a natural healing remedy in treating more than hundred kinds of several body ailments and disorders such as asthma, arthritis, cancer, migraines, osteoporosis, sciatica, constipation, etc.

So, dedicate to regular yoga practice and get rewarded with the most startling yoga benefits for the body, mind and soul.

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Author Bio-Manmohan Singh is a passionate Yogi, Yoga Teacher and a Traveler in India. He is currently working with rishikulyogshsla.org. The Yoga Alliance affiliated school organizes a number of Yoga events such as Yoga teacher training India, Yoga workshops, Retreats, Pranayama training, etc.

We call such things as life and death “opposites,” but this is not altogether a satisfactory name seeing that it implies a state of opposition and hence of conflict. But life and death are in conflict only in the mind which creates a war between them out of its own desires and fears. In fact life and death are not opposed but complementary, being the two essential factors of a greater life that is made up of living and dying just as melody is produced by the sounding and silencing of individual notes. Life feeds on death, its very movement is only possible and apparent because of the continuous birth and death of cells, the absorption of nourishment and the discarding of waste, which in its turn provides a fertile soil from which new life can spring. For vitality is a cycle whose completion requires both upward movement and downward movement just as light cannot manifest itself without the whole motion of the light wave from start to finish; if these waves could be divided into half or quarter waves the light would disappear. So also in the biological realm we have two opposite yet complementary sexes, male and female; beings are divided in this way in order to reproduce themselves, and the meaning of man and woman is the child without which there would be no point in having two sexes at all. Thus they are the two legs upon which our life stands, and when one is cut away the whole collapses.

These so-called opposites present man with a difficult problem, for there is a longing in his heart for eternity and victory over death, a longing which is misdirected because in life as he knows it he himself is one of those opposites and thus is apparently set against something over which he can never triumph. For the foundation of our life as we know it is the opposition between ourselves and the universe, between that which is “I” and that which is not “I.”Here again are two things which are complementary rather than opposed, for it is obvious that the self cannot exist without the universe and that the universe cannot exist without the multitude of selves and entities of which it is composed. But from the point of view of suffering, struggling man this fact, however obvious, is purely abstract. Moreover, the existence of the universe depends apparently only on the impersonal multitude of selves of which there is an inexhaustible supply; it does not depend on any particular self. Indeed, nature seems astonishingly callous and wasteful in its treatment of individual selves, and it is therefore not surprising that man should rebel when treated with the same callous disregard for individuality as is the insect. It even seems that here there is an actual conflict which does not exist solely in the mind, for with one hand nature lavishes the most amazing skill on the creation of individuals and even on their preservation, while with the other it treats them as if they were no more than the dust from which they rose. But if one or the other of nature’s hands were tied the world would either choke itself from overabundance of life or be altogether depopulated. Nevertheless, from the individual point of view the process is wasteful and callous. Man might assist nature to a greater economy by regulating the reproduction of his own kind and by adapting himself to nature instead of trying to fight it. But this requires a concerted social effort that might take thousands of years to accomplish, and hence is of little consequence to individuals living in the turmoil of the twentieth century.

However, scientific measures for the removal of suffering are here beside the point, for it is doubtful whether the resulting increase of comfort would be welcomed if it were sufficient to upset the balance of the opposites. Just as too much light blinds the eyes, too much pleasure numbs the senses; to be apparent it needs contrast. But the problem of man’s conflict with the universe remains. We can present any number of straightforward, rational solutions, justifying the existence of these uncomfortable opposites and the unfortunate but necessary operations of natural law. It is the easiest thing in the world to philosophize, telling man how glad he should be that he suffers, seeing that otherwise he would be unable to feel joy. But when it comes to the point such talk is found to be remote and abstract, leaving the heart unconvinced even if the head is satisfied.

For here we are touching the very root of man’s unhappiness, and to these regions the sweetly reasonable voice of pure philosophy does not penetrate. Whatever may be said about the need for basing one’s attitude to life on a universal as distinct from a personal point of view, the difficulty is that in the ordinary way man does not feel universal. His center is himself and his consciousness peeps out through windows in a wall of flesh; he does not feel his consciousness as existing in things outside of himself, seeing through others’ eyes or moving with others’ limbs. And the world outside that wall is threatening, so much so that he does everything possible to fortify himself against it, surrounding himself with a barricade of possessions and illusions to hide himself from the world and the world from him. Within this fortress he strives to guard and preserve the thing he calls his life, but he might as well try to imprison sunlight in a room by pulling down the blind or trap wind by shutting the door. To enjoy wind you must let it blow past you and feel it against bare flesh; the same is true of time, for the moment has always gone before it can be seized, and the same is true of life which not even this wall of flesh can hold forever. To feel and understand it you must let it blow past you like the wind as it moves across the earth from void to void.

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Alan Watts (January 6, 1915 – November 16, 1973) was a British-born American philosopher, writer, speaker, and counterculture hero,best known as an interpreter of Asian philosophies for a Western audience. He wrote over 25 books and numerous articles applying the teachings of Eastern and Western religion and philosophy to our everyday lives. 

Excerpted from the book The Meaning of Happiness: The Quest for Freedom of the Spirit in Modern Psychology and the Wisdom of the East.Copyright ©2018 by Joan Watts and Anne Watts. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

In the interview below, Arielle Ford discusses her book The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.  She offers practical steps you can take today to begin to attract your soulmate, explains why some people struggle to find their true love and talks about how her 80-year-old mother in law used the techniques in the book to manifest a soulmate 5 years after her husband of 55 years passed away.

If you would like to download the audio of the interview and listen to it on your Ipod, Phone, or MP3 player please visit Spiritual Media Blog’s podcast on Itunes by clicking on the link below.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/interview-arielle-ford-author/id308845604?i=52892263

You can purchase Soulmate Secret on Amazon by Clicking Here

Jeff Brown is the author of Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation, the inspiring memoir of an archetypal “male warrior” – a trial lawyer- who struggled to find his heart and a more authentic, soulful path. Rivetingly personal and profoundly universal, this book is for anyone who has heard a whisper of something truer calling out to them amid the distractions of modern life.

In our interview, Jeff shares how he was able to follow his calling to write in spite of facing intense economic, spiritual and personal obstacles. He also gives advice on how you can follow your calling even if you have practical concerns such as not being able to make enough money. Throughout our conversation, Jeff reveals some of the lessons he learned along the way and goes into great detail about the inner work he did throughout his journey. You can listen to our interview on iTunes by visiting:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/interview-jeff-brown-author/id308845604?i=63619525

For more information on Soulshaping and Jeff Brown, you can visit http://www.soulshaping.com/ or press the play button below to listen to our interview. You can purchase Soulshaping on Amazon by Clicking Here

Michael Bernard Beckwith: Spiritual Liberation – Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential follows Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith (founder of Agape International Spiritual Center) for an actual day of his life. We come along with him as he shops for groceries, walks his dogs with his wife, Rickie, and shares a meal at his home with friends and family.

The beauty of this film is that we see how our daily routines can become fulfilling, meaningful and joyful in their own right simply because they give us an opportunity to share our self with others and to experience the Divine in the middle of the ordinary. Or as Michael Beckwith says at the beginning of the movie,

“We’re not trying to fit mediation into our busy life, with our ‘to-do’ list, with all the things that need to be done. No. Little by little, we make a discovery that our life begins to revolve around our meditation.”

As we walk with Michael throughout his day and listen in on his conversations with friends, family and associates, we hear light-hearted jokes, profound insights and genuine solutions to the challenges of our time. Michael also talks about how a lucid dream inspired him to unconditionally say Yes to the Divine, after he had previously outwitted It’s attempts. That moment Michael said Yes, his life was forever changed.

This is a powerful message for all of us. Everyday, no matter how glamorous, mundane, or difficult our circumstances might be, we have the free choice to say Yes to the Divine. And, when we say Yes to It, we can awaken to our life purpose and a field of possibility that is often far greater than anything we can imagine for ourself.

Other bonus features on the DVD include interviews with USC head football coach, Pete Carroll, producer of Crash, Mark Harris, international speaker Lisa Nichols, the premiere performance of “You Can Dream’ by APL.DE.AP of Black Eyed Peas, 8 performances by Rickie Byars Beckwith and the Agape International Choir, supplemental interviews about love, forgiveness, living on purpose and meditation, and a talk with Michael Beckwith and the filmmaker Mikki Willis on the genesis of Spiritual Liberation.

After taking this intimate look at Rev. Michael Beckwith’s daily life, you will see firsthand why his teachings have empowered thousands of spiritual seekers for more than two decades and also gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for your own life purpose.

Spiritual Liberation DVD and the book it is based on Spiritual Liberation: Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential is available for purchase on Amazon by Clicking Here

I recently interviewed Viki King, consultant and best-selling author of How to Write a Movie in 21 Days – The Inner Movie Method. Our conversation topics ranged from her reaction when she found out her book appeared in two Sopranos episodes, advice she has for filmmakers trying to make a movie that will reach a large audience and her experience working on spiritual entertainment projects as a gifted Oracle.

Viki also gave me a sample of some of her consulting services. She gives consultations on Healing the Hollywood Heart, Help from High Places, Weight Loss and general life counsel. I asked her what advice she would give me if I had a consultation with her and asked her how I could attract abundance and money into my life right now. Her answer really resonated with me and helped me shift the way I looked at what I could offer people and how to articulate that in a way that makes sense.

You can listen to her complete answer and our entire conversation by clicking on the link below to Spiritual Media Blog’s podcast on iTunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/interview-viki-king-author/id308845604?i=94854694

You can also read some highlights of our interview which are copied below.

For more information about Viki King and how you can get a consultation with her or sign up for an upcoming teleconference she has called “The Movie in Your Heart”, please visit her web site at www.VikiKing.com. Her “Movie in Your Heart” teleconference will be for anyone who is considering writing a book or screenplay or for anyone who has written a screenplay or book and how they can take their idea to the next level.

Matthew Welsh: Can you talk a little bit about the inner movie method. What is it?

Viki King: “The inner movie method turns on the inner projector at your heart and it allows that you watch the movie that is in your heart in your head. So you are doing something that is very, very familiar, watching a movie. This time you are watching a movie that is very, very familiar deep within you. This is a way of connecting what is deeply what you wish to bring forth with a skill set that you have that is natural and so easy that you can even eat popcorn while you are doing it. So, the combination of bringing those two elements together allows that you easily role out with the truth with the real heartbeat of what your film is within you.”

Upon learning that the previous owner of her home was a victim of suicidal depression, author Barbara Richardson made a silent promise: to turn that farmhouse into a house of joy. In her new book, Guest House, she fulfills that promise.

Guest House is a fictional novel that weaves together the burdens and joys of one outwardly accomplished go-getter, Melba Burns and one shy, imaginative and neglected kid, Matt Garry. After witnessing a terrible accident, Melba has retreated from the world; she’s abandoned her high-achieving life, she’s stopped driving her car, and she avoids human contact. Her sheltered world starts to crumble when Matt, a courageous and ingenious boy with troubled parents finds his way into her heart.

I recently had a chance to interview Barbara about Guest House. She also talked about how it took her 18 years to get her first book published and gave some great advice for aspiring writers.

You can read a few highlights from our interview below.

Matt: Your characters deal with many challenges ranging from growing up with alcoholic and troubled parents, spousal abuse, being raised in a very strict and religious household, how to comfort those grieving, loneliness, and finding love. Do you have a personal connection to the issues raised in your book?

Barbara: I do. Yes I was raised in a really strict religion and had parents who sort of ignored me…And, I think the beautiful thing about living a spiritual life is that it’s not the circumstances, but what you do with them. To me it was so important to show the humanity of all these people, even the terrible actions of parents and friends. And, in all the confusion truly there is this beautiful thread running through it that you can be free when you learn how to surrender to those who love you and to the moment which provides all the care you could possibly need.

Matt: How do you find beauty in those moments of darkness when you have such terrible circumstances?

Barbara: . . . I saw a documentary on the Holocaust a couple nights ago. And, no there wasn’t joy in the camps there. But, these people managed to locate the joy in their heart in these most difficult circumstances because they were true to themselves. If you’re true to your self, not your outer circumstances…joy is available to you every moment.

For more information on Barbara, you can visit her web site at www.BarbaraKRichardson.com or purchase Guest House on Amazon by Clicking Here.

Recently, mental health problems have been on the rise. Although many people attest this to the increased openness surrounding mental wellbeing, others have noted that this is an epidemic that doesn’t show any signs of stopping. However, that doesn’t mean there is no hope. With so many people being more open about their struggles, it means more tips are flying around, which people can use to benefit their own mental health. Whether you suffer from a diagnosed condition or are hoping to keep your mind in top shape, it’s a great idea to follow some essential tips. If you follow these, they will prepare you better for the times you may feel bad, and they will also help you to grow your confidence and self-worth as you build your better life.

Build a strong network

When people are in a low place, it can be easy to shut yourself off from everyone else. The key to stopping this lonely feeling is to surround yourself with a strong support network when you feel more yourself. Building lasting friendships and spending time with your family means they will be aware of how your mind can switch into dark places. Even if you try to push them away during these times, it is likely that they will always be there to help you up, just remember never to beafraid of speaking up.

Have good health insurance

If you are in a position where you don’t have your family close by, and you find it hard to make new friends, you can always rely on a trusted psychiatrist to be there for you and teach you skills to combat bad days. Ideally, you should look for a health insurance policy that covers this, so that you aren’t spending lots of money that you might not have. Choosing a Medigap policy might be another thing you are overwhelmed by, but there is a lot of information online to help. Not only is it more than worth it int he long run, but it will also ensure your physical health is looked after too.

Exercise more

The key to having a healthy body is to stick to a regular exercise routine, but it can also do immeasurable good for your mind. In fact, there have been many studies to show how exercise is linked to a reduction in depressive tendencies, stress, and anxiety. Thisis partly because it releases endorphins into your brain, which can make you feel happy for a while after exercising. It also helps you sleep better at night, which can help with any fatigue or insomnia you may be experiencing. If you struggle with your body image, exercise is one of the best habits to start, as it will build your confidence about the way you look and have you feeling like your healthiest self.

Eat a balanced diet

A balanced diet always goes hand in hand with exercising regularly. Although it’s always a good idea to indulge in your favorite foods sometimes, it’s best to stick to a diet which is rich in fruit, vegetables, non-refined carbohydrates, and lean meats. However, such a diet also means avoiding food and drink that is harmful to you. It includes an excess of alcohol, caffeine, and sugar. Caffeine may make you feel on top of the world when you first have it, but it has been linked to panic attacks and anxiety if you have too much. Instead, try and lower your intake by drinking green tea. It is important to note that if you are a vegetarian or a vegan, you will lack your intake of Vitamin B12. This deficiency can lead to depression, so it’s recommended to take supplements along with your intake of water each day.

Practice self-care

Self-care is a new practice that has emerged, although its roots can be found thousands of years ago when mental wellbeing was prioritized in aromatherapy practices. Essentially, it means doing what you love to make yourself feel better. It can include watching your favorite programme, reading a good book, or meeting with friends for coffee. When you don’t feel in top form, this can act as a real comfort while you ride out the low feelings, and is a reminder that everything will improve soon.

Spend time outdoors

When you are feeling low, being outside is the last thing your brain can fathom, butif you manage to make the step even into your yard, you will start to feel the benefits that the great outdoors can bring. As a natural stress reducer, ecotherapy has also shown that it can help those who suffer frommore severe mental health problems. Mostly, this is to do with the peace and the beauty you find in the natural world, which comes as a welcome distraction. Every day, try to go on a short walk in your local park or take a weekend trip to an area of outstanding natural beauty. If you don’t feel up to it on bad days, make sure you open your windows, and that your home is scatteredin houseplants.

Switch off

A lot of what is causing people to struggle recently is spending too much time online. Though the internet has brought some amazing positives to peoples’ lives, social media has started to exacerbate issues such as Body Dysmorphia in teenagers and young adults. As with everything, moderation is key. If you feel as though you have spent too much time on your device, switch it off and hide it away for a few hours to avoid temptation.

Try meditation

 Switching off is something that can also lead to better sleep, but you can go one step further and use this time for meditation. Combining this with yoga will give you the great benefits of both, and will also count as your exercise for the day. In the morning, and just before bed, make a few minutes free for you to meditate in with a specialized app. Here, you can reconnect with the world and face negative emotions in a safe place.

BY SUSAN FRENCH

Hello. I’m Susan French, and I’m the “fat friend”.

It dawned on me last week, during a late night dancing session at the local goth club. I arrived with two friends, not too different from me.

All three of us are close in age — in our mid to late 30s, approaching early 40s — no longer youthful like the college kids dancing around us, but with an easy-going confidence that comes with age.

The big difference between me and my friends is our outward appearance. They are blond, I am a natural brunette with strawberry-dyed curls. They are thin, and I’m…well, fat.

When you look at me you can’t help but notice the extra weight that I carry around my face and midsection. I’m wide, and round and most women’s brands don’t carry my size.

Society tells me I’m fat. When I go out with my friends, they get a warmer reception than I do.

I take up more space on the dance floor. I see people staring at my back fat in my swimsuit at the beach. And take notice of men who talk to my friends in the club without acknowledging I, too, am standing right there.

Sometimes, for all this mass, I may as well be wallpaper.

But here’s the thing, I don’t care.

My Life as a Skinny Person

I was a skinny person once. Very skinny.

In my teenage and young adult youth, I struggled with untreated ADHD, insomnia and other problems. I would go days without really stopping to recharge my battery. Sometimes that meant, going three days in a row where all I ate was a bowl of rice each day.

It’s not that my mom didn’t cook, she usually did. But with a busy family on different schedules and some alcohol problems in the mix, it was easy for me to hide the fact that I wasn’t eating. No one was really taking inventory.

Other days my friends and I would make bad decisions and come back to my house to binge on snacks.

At the time, I didn’t realize that I was suffering from an eating disorder. I restricted my eating, I binged — sometimes to the point of purging — I lost a lot of weight.

I remember having to do a food diary as a general curriculum assignment for health class. After three days of reporting 500 calories a day (mostly in cookies at lunchtime) my instructor pulled me aside to ask if I was ok.

I felt like I was ok. I was thin and pretty, so my life was pretty easy.

I had become a comfortable level of popular, where I had a big group of good friends — but didn’t hang with usual suspects in the popular crowd. I immersed myself in friendships with drama and art kids, and band nerds.

I never got into a situation that being young and cute couldn’t get me out of. The phenomena of skinny privilege is absolutely a thing!

And for all of that, my quality of life was not good. I did bad things solely to make myself feel better and to hide the fact that I had no idea who I was, deep down. I constantly questioned my own worth. My grades dropped. I got myself into situations, I hope to never repeat.

And it only got worse as I got older.

The Day I Gained

Okay, so it wasn’t a day. It’s been years that I’ve been gaining and losing to the tune of 120 pounds over 17 years. But in the beginning, the first year or two, every big spurt of weight gain felt like it happened over night. It felt like my daily defeat.

At 135 pounds, I kept thinking about when I weighed 111 and wondering where this weight came from. The same at 150 pounds, then 180 pounds.

I realized that over the course of about a year, I had gained about 80 pounds. Adulthood for me, meant being a young twenty something, trying to learn to adjust major changes in my own body.

At first, I was miserable.

Up until I was about 21, I had been dating my highschool sweetheart. But he and I broke up.

I was dating men for the first time in my life in this body didn’t feel like my own. It was a trying time, being both naive due to a sheer lack of dating experience, and vulnerable because I couldn’t understand my own worth.

The funny thing is, for what it’s worth, being overweight didn’t affect my sex life. I was my own worst critic, and didn’t make the best dating decisions as a result.

In my twenties, I drank… a lot. I was a server at a bar and grill, and felt really at home in the culture of waiting tables. Drinking after work, was just the thing to do. No one had anything to do in the morning, and so we stayed up until sunrise.

I can’t say it wasn’t fun, but it still hadn’t clicked for me. I hadn’t found what I was looking for — a good relationship with myself.

Like many existential twenty-somethings, I tried to fill the void with partying and good times. But it didn’t work.

The Ups and Downs

No one tells you that kind of lifestyle can only last so long. And as someone who has a tendency to overindulge and gain weight quickly, that life wasn’t getting me any closer to the skinny girl who I still believed lived inside my fatter body.

But as weeks turned to years turned to decades, it became more and more obvious that she… was gone.

For a long while, I mourned the skinny person who I thought had abandoned me. The one who felt like the best version of myself.

My lack of skinny privilege became the most apparent within my career.

As a young person, I had become accustomed to getting what I wanted. At one time, I felt like I must’ve been a really great job interviewee because every time I interviewed for a job I got an offer.

Bright, charming, pretty — right out of college I was going to take the business world by storm.

I’ve always been a go getter and goal setter, I had my eye on education administration and marketing jobs where my future as a junior executive would be realized within a few years.

But instead, I continued to gain weight, and lose career momentum.

I faked a smile as the male executives at the firm I worked for made sexist jokes about other fat women right in front of me. I worked overtime, lent my talent and ideas, and was still sometimes resented by my male counterparts.

I watched other women rise through the ranks, while talks of eliminating my position started to permeate in the white noise. After I announced that I was pregnant, I was eventually asked to resign.

I later caught up with one of the females who had done well at this company and she regaled me of stories of sexual harassment at the hand of another executive. I wasn’t surprised.

Over the next three years, I would be laid off from three positions — two of which let me go during the same pregnancy. I was told I was bossy, abrasive — feedback I had never received as a skinny person.

It’s not that my personality had changed, just my body. And now, people – especially men – felt really comfortable picking apart my personality.

When I took personality tests for the various sales jobs I was in, my results came back with traits like “assertiveness”, “ambitious”,  “a strategist” and “someone who can use multiple solutions to solve a problem.”

But instead of rising through the ranks, powered by my own ambition, I was told to be more delicate in my email communications and I started using more emojis. I often was offered lateral moves and my career seemed to stall.

Sometimes, for women, life isn’t fair. This feels especially true if you’re fat.

The Journey to Wellness

Despite career issues, in 2016 I found my zen.

That was the year I got laid off from the last of three jobs. Up until that moment, I had begun employing mindfulness strategies that helped me achieve a better diet and overall reduction in  ADHD symptoms.

The golden ticket for me is practicing mindfulness techniques and eating low carb.

I was surprised to find that, for me, a low carb lifestyle helped to get off of ADHD medication that I started taking as an adult. The idea that your diet can control ADHD is by no means a medical opinion or recommendation, it’s just something that worked for me. Always consult a doctor before stopping medical intervention.

My main goal was to feel like I could understand what my body was telling me, which is why this is more of a mindfulness story than a weight loss one.

I had come to the realization that I was a floating head. Everything I felt and experienced was from my mind, but I wasn’t reading sensations from my body. There was this big, obvious disconnect.

It felt like my body had gone dark, and my mind was behind the wheel. In an attempt to reconnect, I began seeing a holistic therapist, practicing mindfulness and came to the conclusion that I needed to eliminate most carbs from my diet.

I did briefly hop onto the ketogenic fad train, but ultimately decided the best diet for my ADHD management was some mix between keto and paleo. Over that year, I lost 50 pounds.

And then I lost my job in a company-wide downsizing. My diet changed again, for the worst. I gained weight that I’m still trying to lose. But more to my detriment, I triggered my ADHD and derailed my wellness journey. I’m still working on getting back on track.

I know the answer for me is being mindful. That means being thoughtful about all decisions including food and drink, but it’s also so much more than that. It’s connecting my brain to my body, and tapping into the awesome person that I am.

The Total Package

Over the course of a life that has lead me from skinny to fat, to mindful, to falling back on old ways, I learned something important:

I am better because I am fat.

There. I said it.

This certainly isn’t true for everyone. There are plenty of skinny, self aware people walking around the planet earth. But I was not one of them.

When I was thin, I was unhappy with myself. Gaining weight, I was challenged to learn how to love my body in a way that I never could before.

I appreciate what my body has done for me: the birth of my child, the vessel that gets out of bed each day because I tell it to, the hands that tapped out this blog.

But along the journey to finding my best self, I had to learn to overcome prejudice. And, when I turned that corner, what I found is that some people resent my happiness because I’m fat.

The thing is, that’s their problem — not mine.

They resent me because they fear what I am. They fear being fat or otherwise losing their youthfulness. But at 35 years old, I know youthfulness doesn’t stick around forever and being confident means appreciating yourself at every stage, be it thin 18, fat 35 or frail 90.

No one can take that away from me. So what if they stare when I dominate the dance floor? Let them stare, maybe they’ll learn something.

I’m the “fat friend” and I’ve never been happier.

*******************************

Susan is a writer, contributor and content marketer who publishes her own blog, Marketing and Murder <http://www.marketingandmurder.com>. Susan’s greatest successes include a fruitful 10+ year career in marketing and outside sales, as well as a master’s degree in human services, marriage and family therapy. But her happiest role is just being Mom to her young daughter. This piece discusses the obesity, confidence and self-love.

By Kaliyani Sundari

Sumerian tablet Hymn translation from, Inanna Queen of Heaven, by Wolkstein and Kramer.

        Later, including today, as a deeply buried unconscious program; a cellular memory that insidiously feeds, support and maintains the female as an unconscious prisoner to an unconscionable reality. Like a ghost of the past, it whispers in our ears, “you are less than”, “not good enough”, and “unworthy of God”. As the patriarchal paradigm proceeded with its bloody and systematic divide-and-conquer mission, it left behind a trail of distortion, fraught with bias and countless fallacies, and falsifications about Inanna’s story, her service, character and mission, in order to weaken her powerful presence in the hearts of all her people. She’s the once great one, which the old “holy” book venomously vilified and referred to as the infamous Lilith; the indomitable first wife of Adam. At times connoting she was the personification of all evil and the devil itself – remember her horned hat? – Luckily all of the gods of the Sumerian pantheon wore such hats, however no one remembered them, while Inanna lingered in their hearts thousands of years later.    

          I like to imagine that from the clean slate of a healed mental and emotional body around sexuality, we will be able to utilize the sexual energy for collective healing and to magnetizing our energetic field to manifest only what is in greater harmony with our soul’s highest purpose. With that ideal as inspiration, on a more mundane level, we should start by implementing a new dialog around sexuality that is more natural, dogma-free, and holistic. This new understanding and dialog needs to be uncovered, disseminated and practiced from an early age in order to bring forth an integrated understanding of the multidimensional aspects of a healthy sexuality and its healing effect that I believe will quantum leap our evolution in consciousness.

Goals are the things that move our lives forward; they are what give us the reasons to keep pushing through, even when times are tough. Knowing that we are close to reaching our next goal is something that can bring happiness and pleasure, and something that can stop us from quitting altogether. Everything we do should be part of a major life goal, helping us to take the next step towards where we can to be. But if this is the case, why not just keep plugging on towards that big life goal and keep that in mind at all times?

It’s because this can be too overwhelming. That goal will be a huge one, something that will have many challenges and successes (and some failures) associated with it. If that is what we concentrate on, it’s likely that we will have to stop because it all becomes too much. Setting smaller goals to help us on our journey is a much easier way to ensure that we reach our ultimate goal in the end. Here are some other reasons why setting goals arenecessary for a successful life.

You Will Have Focus

If you are heading towards something for a specific reason, you will be focusedon getting there. If you just set out with nowhere particular to go, you can easily be sidetracked, get lost, end up arriving late or not at all. You might be distracted and lose sight of what it was you wanted in the first place. All of this means that your ultimate goal won’t be achieved, or at least not as quickly as you may have originally planned. You need an aim and a purpose for everything you do, and that is what goal setting is all about.

Having the potential to do well is not enough; you need to have the goal in mind as well. These two things combined are what make people successes. Goals give you your ultimate direction in life and therefore make decisions much easier, everything should point towards the direction you’re heading in. If you don’t know what direction that is, life can become a lot harder.

You Can See How Far You Have Come

If you have set goals that you are reaching and succeeding in, you can look back at your journey and easily see how far you have come. You can understand what was difficult and what was easier, and when you stumbled but came back fighting, ready to keep moving towards your next goal. It is extremely important. If you lose track of where you are and how far you have come, your passion for what you are doing may start to dwindle because it could feel as though you haven’t achieved much, or you still have a long way to go. Knowing exactlywhat you have done makes all the difference because rather than being disheartened that you haven’t done much, you can think about the progress you have made instead.

You Will Be Accountable To Yourself

Having a vague idea of where you want to be and what you want to do,will leave you open to all kinds of excuses. You’ll tell yourself that you can start tomorrow, or next week, or in the summer, or during the winter, and in the meantime, you will continue doing what you have always done. Having specific, measurable goals that have a deadline associated with them means that you need to start right away, and if you don’t,you’ll have to be accountable to yourself. Take smoking, for example. If you want to quit smoking, you may have told yourself all the reasons why it’s a bad habit and horribly unhealthy. However, without a goal in mindand a date by which you want to have quit, you’ll find it much harder to get started. Break the task down into smaller goals, starting with cutting down on how much you smoke, or buying a Vapeberri starter kit so that you smoke e-cigarettes rather than real ones, andit becomes much easier. You will still be accountable for your ownactions, only this time, with proper focus and determination, you can be pleased with yourself.

You Won’t Procrastinate

Procrastination means you put off starting (or completing) a task; there can be many reasons why this happens, and it can be a difficult habit for people to get over. However, with a specific, attainable goal in mind, procrastination becomes much less problematic. Having short term goals and deadlines is what spurs us on, and longer term goals means that procrastination is much more likely. After all, if you know you don’t have to get something finished until six months’ time, you may well put off starting the task, or take your time over it, stopping because you’re distracted throughout.If you have a week, you’ll get started right away and not allow yourself to lose focus. Thisis why smaller, short term goals are so important.

You’ll Be Motivated

Motivation is a powerful thing; it will help you do everything you need to doand to keep going until you have achieved your goals. Goals and motivation work hand in hand; having a series of smaller goals will help you to stay motivated, and the more motivated you are, the quicker you will work through those goals – there is no downside.

In order to reach your ultimate goal, no matter what it is, you should try to be as motivated as possible throughout the process. It will sometimes be hard, there will be times when your confidence in your ownabilities will be shaken, but every time you reach a goal, you will feel even more motivated to reach the next one, and that means you are much more likely to succeed.

The goals you set are the tools you need to focus onyourself, keep motivated, stay positive, and make your life exactly how you want it to be. That’s why it’s so important to have them, stick to them, and achieve them.

The science of yoga is slowly being embedded into the life of many of us. Thank goodness! More and more entities across the globe are directing towards the science of yoga for healing and transformation evolving into mindful, compassionate, and spiritual selves. However, a majority of them still view the art of yoga as the physical practice of asanas good for cultivating body powers and natural flexibility.

But, the age-old truth is that this 5000-year old discipline was never about contorting the body into perfect poses and backbends. For millennia, the ancient method of yoga has been in practice by the yogis, sages, and seers for experiencing a limitless self. It has been a technique of residing in a realm of contentment and peace.

Even the physical practices of Asanas are designated towards spiritual goals. The performance of Hatha Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, and other yoga forms unite the mind, body, and soul leading us towards true self-knowledge.

“The deeper you get into Yoga, you realize it is a Spiritual Practice.”

Discover the Spiritual Side of Yoga.

1. Spiritual Upliftment: The sacred Sanskrit threads– the Yoga Sutras that outline the eight limbs imparted down by the great sage Patanjali offer guidelines for fostering spiritual qualities for the individuals to attain inner wisdom and lead a meaningful life. The Chapter II Sutra and Chapter III Sutra contains the eight-limbed practice for clearing the impurities of the body and mind leading the disciple on the path of luminous wisdom to eventually experience profound discernment and clarity (Viveka-Khyateh).

Yamas: The principles governing our attitude towards others and the environment. (Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Brahmacharya, Aparigraha).

Niyamas: Attitude towards Ourselves (Shaucha, Santosha, Tapah, Svadhaya, Ishvara Pranidhana).

Asanas: Physical Postures for building discipline and concentration, the essential elements required for meditation.

Pranayama: The breath-control technique for establishing and recognizing a connection between the breath, mind, and emotions.

Pratyahara: The withdrawal from the external world. A conscious effort of delving inside and knowing oneself better.

Dharana: Concentration. The practice of pushing the mind by focusing on a single object. It is the stage that precedes Dhayana.

Dhyana: Meditation. The state of being aware without focus. The mind is calm and higher consciousness develops.

Samadhi: The state of Ecstasy. A profound connection with the divine happens in this state.

2. Cultivating Awareness: Balance and activate both sides of the brain, strengthen the inner wisdom, feel empowered to take the challenges of life, and awaken the consciousness with yoga. When practitioners show up on a yoga mat consistently, they slowly develop awareness of what the body is like, how to react to the challenges of life in a positive manner transforming their experiences with the self and those around. The practice of Yoga Nidra can be used for learning the subtleties of life and the dimensions of life that are not explored during waking, dreaming, walking, and sleeping states. Yoga Retreat in India is the way to understand and practice the Yoga Nidra.
3. Psychical Positivity and Clarity: Yoga as a spiritual practice aims to cease all the negative thoughts by calming the mind and promoting a positive atmosphere. The holding of the postures through awareness transports our mind into a peaceful state. Additionally, doing Mantra Chanting while in meditation is a spiritual practice of self-transformation. Repeating the divine sounds (Mantras) of OM, OM Shanti, Gayatri Mantra help quiet the aggressive mind and brings it to a present moment. The mantras carry divine energies that significantly benefits the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health of the practitioners. Also, the soulful frequency of the mantras alters the vibrations of the life, for good. Spiritual retreats in India focus on Mantra Meditation and benefits of Mantra chanting.
4.  Spiritual Stretch: During the spiritual retreats in India,the Physical practice of yoga styles consisting of diverse yoga asanas is for physical and psychical fitness for sure, but it is more for spiritual goals that add depth to our practice. Yoga asanas teach us the art of self-compassion, through which the performers can establish a strong connection with the inner being thus leading them to mindfulness. The third limb of yoga asanas of Sage Patanjali is practiced for spiritual care and experiencing each sensation with the consciousness that is highly essential for attaining Pratyahara and Meditation (fifth and seventh limb of Yoga respectively).
5.  Quiet Mind: Most of the time, our mind is involved in unwanted thoughts instead of simply being in the current moment. And, there are several of them asking the ways to develop calmness and to connect deeper within the self. The yogic practice of Meditation gives us the opportunity to silence the fluctuations of the mind and transport us into the sacred inner space. Meditation teaches us to be aware of our experiences and be grateful. It develops an attitude of gratitude within us, which makes yoga a spiritual practice.

The multiple Yogic Methods are the way to journey the interior path to meet the true self– and that is truly the aim of Yoga.

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Shwaasa guru is a Traveler and a Yoga Teacher in India. He loves writing on yoga related stuff. He has been practioning yoga from last 10 years. His strong connection with Yoga and the Himalayas has made him organize yoga, meditation and Ayurveda tours, and retreats in the Himalayas.

This excerpt on What is Spirituality?, is from Chapter 19, “The Great Mysteries,” from the book “Balanceology: The 4 M’s of motivation, meaning, measurement, mitigation.” By Al Johnson, PhD.

What is Spirituality?

 The journey I am on, the path I am following, though I have often not recognized it invariably involves spirituality —>the inner-workings and the inwardness dimension that makes for the individuality of a person. Unrecognized and unidentified because the defining of the word spirituality for me has been a daunting task. Speculative definitions arise depending on who is asked. How would you define spirituality? How would you define spirit? I maintain that no matter how spirituality or spirit is defined, it has become one more avenue in my attempts to be aware of and comprehend the nature of myself, and my deep yearning to bring real higher meaning to my life. In this chapter, I will describe how spirituality has entailed a process that embraces experiencing, being aware of, comprehending, and gaining knowledge of my inner being –—>myself. I will limn, delineate, and chronicle how spirituality invariably includes my endeavors to connect and belong with others. Along with literature, the arts, and myths I suggest spirituality is an additional passageway in my deep-seated desire to solve the mysterious, and in my search for meaning, truths and Truth. Spirituality surely involves experiencing truth(s), and maybe some experience of an Ultimate Truth that exists in the Universe.  In Chapter 21, I will present and detail higher meaning and Ultimate Truth.

Spiritual beings– I have discerned that a variety of definitions for spirituality (spirit) give significance to the physics and biology of breath, wind, and life. I insist that the breath of life inside of us is a spiritual principle. Poetically, metaphorically, and in actuality the spirituality of us surely pertains to and involves the breatheable part of us that sustains our life. I go on and assert that the concept of spirituality is nature-made, is innate, and is physically and biologically based. Full-stop! Roberts maintains that humans are a “physical-spiritual unity.” (1981) I propose that nature’s energy is connected to spiritual breath (wind) and together sustain life. Spirituality is about us, our life, our breath, our energy, our very essence. A hero of mine PierreTeilhard de Chardin announced, “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (1955) I so agree with Soren Kierkegaard when he stated that, “Man is spirit. But what is spirit? Spirit is the self. But what is the self?” (1849) For me, this quote suggests that Kierkegaard is indicating that in knowing more about oneself, we are knowing more about our spirit. Fernandez-Armesto stated that, “the conviction that the Self is in some sense spiritual is remarkably resilient – considering how strange it seems by the cannons of common sense. There is no test for spirit; but the sense of it is too strong and widespread to be dismissed.” (2004)

Thus, I definitively state, proclaim and enthusiastically and terrifically announce that my-self is really another way of referring to my-spirit. My Self’s doppelganger is My Spirit <—>My Spirit’s poltergeist is My Self. I consider them to be equivalent and of the same substance. Period! I now include Self óSpirit in my naturalistic worldview. In the sense that my-self and my-spirit are the same thing and of the same substance, I consider that I am indeed a very spiritual person. Please stay with my reasoning on this. Do you understand that when I say I am a spiritual person I am trying to experience, to be aware of, learn about, try understand, and attempt to comprehend as much about myself, my inner world, my life, and the world around me as I can? Spirituality for me has become a process aimed at deeply knowing myself in a world of nature and in a world with other people.

Spirituality: Awakening– I have ascertained that the concept of spirituality is frequently associated with the word awakening. JohnSelby said there exists a need for “awakening the primal spiritual truths of human existence.” (2003) I postulate that a noteworthy part of my journey has been an awakening of myself to my life. I adamantly portend that spirituality is a critical part of my journey of awakening myself-to-myself. An awakening that can reset and anew a path towards self-evolutionary changes. A spirituality that is awakening surely is an evolutionary process that is inspirational and aspirational. I propose that awakening clearly has epigenetic and energetic connotations (more to come). Buddhism advocates that we become like the Buddha; the “awakened one.” Alcoholics Anonymous recommends and stresses its mem- bers have a spiritual awakening. I associate this breath of life awakeningas an inner dynamic energetic spiritual awakening to human nature, my collective inheritance, and my personal inheritance. To view spiri- tuality from this perspective becomes a matter of what I am really about, who I really am, what my true intentions really are, and relates to my authentic Self (more to come). Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio announced spirituality as “an organizing scheme behind a life that is well-balanced, well-tempered, and well-intended.” (2006) In later chapters, I explain how well-balance and supra-balance have a significant presence in Balanceology.

Importantly, my understanding of spirituality is not only a re-routing and inner-working path of awakening myself-to-myself, but is also a crucial path of awakening of spirit-to-spirit connections with others. Connection becomes a matter of my Self (my spirit) experiencing another Self (another spirit). Spirit-to-spirit awakening experiences evolve from the exclusive individuality of the Self (me), to the inclusive mutuality of belonging (we). Spirituality is a major way to cross the Prime Dualistic border and build relationships through attachment, affiliation, and connection. I go on and proclaim that self-awakening connects us with the collective human spirit from our trans-generational inheritance. Our 3,700,000,000 year old life-to-life connections are a direct route that connects us with our 13,700,000,000 year old Universe. Spirituality surely involves our search for deeper spiritual awakening experiences with the Universe that we are embedded in and is deep-seated in us. For Capra, “the experience of being connected with all of nature; of belonging to the universe, is the very essence of spirituality.” (2010)

Theory of Balanceology

I have been on a mission over the last many years to discover and build a world- view I can attest to and follow. The end result of my search is my book,Balanceology:  The 4 M’s of motivation, meaning, measurement,mitigation.  My autobiographical jour- ney evolved into a theory and practice. The Theory of Balanceology is the study of what it takes to live a life in balance and health. The centric idea of the theory comes from the time honored nature based concept of balance. The Big Idea and backbone of my theory is “Balance Is Everything.” The model theorizes that humans are motivated to satisfy our inherent needs (M-1), and thus add meaning to our life (M-2).  When a person is having personal and interpersonal problems an assessment and measurement (M-3) is made of the level of meeting needs and the current level of dysfunctional symptoms. Need satis- faction and current symptoms determine the degree a person is in-or-out of balance and health. Mitigation (M-4) involves building the personal and interpersonal skills it requires to better meet and satisfy our needs and thus lower unhealthy symptoms.

What follows is information related to the author. I also present a blurb that goes into greater detail concerning my theory and book.  For additional information related to my book, theory, and practice feel free to visit Balanceology.net and/or Balanceology.blog.

The Author

Al Wm Johnson holds a PhD in behavioral health counseling from the University of North Dakota.  Dr. Johnson is a professionally licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and a licensed clinical addiction counselor (LCAC).  He has over twelve years work experience at various educational levels and settings. Dr. Johnson has many years of direct clinical experience with clients and patients.  He has twenty-five years of experience in man- aging various behavioral health programs in outpatient, partial hospitalization, residential, and psychiatric inpatient settings.

Dr. Johnson’s areas of expertise are in mental and behavioral health treatment, addictive and compulsive behaviors, and the components that provide for a quality education. He has interests in writing, consultation, training, and the presentation of interactive workshops. Over the last 15-20 years, Dr. Johnson has increasingly developed a fascination with the study of the history, philosophy, psychology and a spirituality that emanates from the natural world.  He has a profound respect for the brilliance of Nature, and in understanding the complexities of human nature.  Dr. Johnson has devoted efforts to explore and get a better understanding of his experiences emerging from Nature, human nature, and his own nature. His energy has focused on building a theoretical naturalistic needs-based model that inspires hope. That is, a therapeutic practical model aimed at developing the personal and interpersonal change factors it requires for self-evolutionary growth and balance-centered living.

Blurb About the Book

Balance is Everything!

INTRO: I was in my mid-twenties and I was spiritually adrift.  In a world capable of endless pain and suffering my childhood taught worldview was collapsing.  On a grief-stricken planet my supernatural based truths no longer had meaning. My heart was troubled, bewildered, and empty.  I had lost my way and my life was hanging in the balance.

MAIN THEME:  I required a new path forward and a new way to view the world. The impetus for my investigative journey only came after I understood Rene Descartes’ advice that, “at least once in your life you doubt as far as possible all things,” and a Shakesperean line, “what is past is prologue.” I challenged myself by asking, “am I going to allow myself to remain imprisoned to childhood conditioning?”  My answer was “no.” I mustered up the courage to dare-to-doubt and to embark on a heavy-hearted out-of-sorrow mission to discover Who am I?, What am I?, and my place in the world. I sought a worldview that could repeal-and-replace an outdated worldview based on fear and superstition. I desired a worldview storyline that could reasonably bring order out of disorder, encompass a beginning of time <—>an ending of time, accommodate living <—>accommodate dying, and could give me some understanding of why so much pain and suffering exists in our world.

CONTENT:  My tour de force journey entailed unrelenting years of research, study, and reflection. My initially self-focused autobiographical sojourner journey evolved into the Theory of Balanceology—-> the study of living a balance-centered life. My new worldview theoretical position endorses the time-honored physiological, biological, psycho-logical, and philosophical insight that Nature always seeks balance. Balance became my centerpiece idea that the world has natural patterns of order that aim to be maintained, and natural patterns of human inborn needs that aim to be satisfied, and together can bring stability, harmony, and contentment to one’s life.  This writing’s content endeavors to present, define, detail, and defend a theoretical and therapeutic worldview proposition advocating for the Big Idea that “Balance is Everything:”  i. e. a life-in-balance is one living-in-balance.

AUDIENCE:  This worldview paradigm gravitates towards those readers who are spiritually, philosophically, and psychologically inclined and can imagine the existence of worldviews beyond their own. It is directed at those curious individuals not of- fended by alternative worldviews, but actually seek to learn about nontraditional and even controversial ways to view the world. It is aimed at those adventurous truth-seekers disposed to ponder lives many paradoxes, fearlessly question absolutes, and possess a healthy skepticism + open-mindedness.  I admire those courageous people unconcerned about being politically correct or living by social expectations. This writing is steered towards those readers who actively desire having an emotional, psychological, spiritual, and ethical “workout.”  This unconventional and nonconformist model heavily criticizes certain cultural and religious sacred cows, and because of that I have prepared myself for an assured retaliation and heated backlash from some readers.

BENEFITS:  What will the reader gain by reading this writing?

• The reader is presented with a nontraditional theoretical and therapeutic paradigm to view the world.
• The reader is challenged to review your current ideas, values, beliefs, and worldview.
• The reader is encouraged to initiate your own investigative journey, and to construct a worldview that has meaning for you.
• The reader is given a textbook of educational content that transition into a workbook of experiential exercises.
• The reader is invited to adapt ideas from this writing that make sense to you , but not to completely adopt them –>i e. create your own ideas and build a worldview that works for you.

An interview with author Dan Millman on THE LIFE YOU WERE BORN TO LIVE — Revised 25th Anniversary Edition

 Dan Millman, former world-champion gymnast, coach, martial arts teacher, and college professor, is the author of seventeen books published in twenty-nine languages and shared across generations to millions of readers. His internationally bestselling book Way of the Peaceful Warrior was adapted to film in 2006. Dan speaks worldwide to people from all walks of life. He lives in New York City. www.PeacefulWarrior.com.

After writing your autobiographical novel, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, what drew you into the speculative field of numerology with The Life You Were Born to Live?

DM:  My first books in the peaceful warrior saga convey transcendent teachings through story. I then wrote No Ordinary Moments in response to readers who asked how they could apply those teachings in everyday life. At that point it seemed a natural progression to explore life-purpose and self-knowledge, which led to immersive work on The Life You Were Born to Live.

Such a progression may seem pre-planned and organized, but the process was nothing like that. My books emerged from my own winding path of discovery, as well as meetings with unusual mentors.

I had no innate interest in numerology, which seemed irrational to me — after all, how can adding up the digits in one’s date of birth provide valid and accurate information about the core issues of one’s life? I remained skeptical until a life-changing session with a man I’ll call “the warrior-priest.”

I had previously studied many systems of insight, including the MMPI and so-called enneagram material (years before any books were published on the subject). But none of these systems seemed as objective, accessible, and accurate as the material that I learned and internalized for nearly eight years, until I finally wrote The Life You Were Born to Live.  It was an extraordinary challenge, but more than a million readers validate the effort.

What new information does this new edition cover?

DM:  The original book described thirty-seven life paths, one of which will apply accurately to anyone born between 1750 to 1999. But some children born after the new millennium have new (single-digit) birth numbers. The revised and updated 25th Anniversary Edition covers all forty-five birth numbers (life paths).

Like the original edition, it reveals a quick and accurate means to determine one’s own birth number (and corresponding life path) and the life paths of friends, loved ones, colleagues, parents, and acquaintances. It also covers the strengths and challenges of each life path in areas of health, money, and sexuality, as well as key spiritual laws to help anyone overcome the hurdles on their own path.

In addition, the new edition reveals what makes a “master number” and why — how the single-digit numbers impact the life paths of many young people — and how this knowledge helps to clarify all the other life paths. I also added new examples of well-known people on each life path, and how I learned the system and why I chose to share it.

What is a birth number? How does it relate to a life path?

DM: Both mystics and physicists have proposed that all existence is comprised, at the atomic and subatomic levels, of numbers (frequencies or vibrations). In a way that no one has fully articulated, each of us is connected to the rhythms and dynamics of the universe, our solar system, and the solar and lunar cycles. But what seems to happen is that when we take our first breath, our parents give us a name and the universe gives us a frequency, expressed as our birth number. How? You’ll have to ask Pythagoras.

Once we derive our own (or someone else’s) birth number — either by looking it up quickly and accurately at the “Life Purpose Calculator” at my website, www.peacefulwarrior.com, under the menu item, “Life Purpose,“or by doing the math as shown in the Appendix at the end of the new edition — that number reveals our life path and all that entails.

I need to clarify here that if we divide the forty-five life paths into the population of the planet, that means millions of people are working the same life path. Does this make them the same in some sense? Of course not — each of us is unique, and has our own story to live.

Let’s point to a tree growing nearby. That tree is also unique, since no other tree on the planet is exactlylike that tree (i.e. the angle of every leaf and branch). Yet we can outline qualities of redwoods that are different from aspens or oaks or cypress trees. In the same way, we each have genetic heritage, life experience, and other factors uniquely our own — yet we also fall within certain overall patterns (or life paths) which we then manifest in our own ways.

Can your life path change?

DM: The local date and time you are born; that is, when you take your first breath (whether you arrived as expected, or induced, or via C-section), that is when you take on a birth number (or frequency) and life path. You have this path for a lifetime.

There are related factors I address in the new edition, such as whether you were born at or near midnight, or influences of the day before or after, or if you don’t know your date of birth for certain.

Although our life path remains the same, as we grow, mature, and evolve, we can face the issues on that path in more mature and resourceful ways, reducing the liabilities, overcoming the hurdles and challenges, and engaging the strength of that path (as outlined in the book).

Ultimately, through spiritual practice, we may even liberate ourselves or transcend that life path, so that it no longer defines or delineates us.

What does it mean if two or more family members have the same life path?

DM: My sister and I, and one of my daughters, happen to be working the same life path — each in our own way, but sharing core qualities, challenges and strengths.  Having  the same life path as a friend or family member has no special meaning, but does provide a chance to compare notes — similarities and differences in how we respond to, and even perceive, the events of our lives.

What’s the best way for a new reader to make use of this system?

DM: The book begins with a one-page guide titled, “How to read this book.”  To answer the question more generally, I encourage new readers to approach the material with healthy skepticism, but also an open mind.

Anyone reading this short piece can visit www.peacefulwarrior.com, click on the menu link, “Life Purpose,” access the free Life Purpose Calculator, put in their date of birth, find their birth number (and primary meanings) and read a summary paragraph or two about their life path. Of course the book reveals more detail, including spiritual laws key to overcoming the hurdles on that path — and also presents the dynamics of the composite number and path of any personal or relationship, and insight into our current place in the nine-year cycles of our life.

Is one’s individual path (or composite relationship path) easier or more difficult than another?

DM: As I emphasize in the book, each of us has our own mountain (path) to climb, and each path entails different hurdles and strengths. No individual or relationship path is better or worse, easier or more difficult, than any other except as we may make it so, depending on how we respond.

There are times in each of our lives when we face the challenges of our life path in more mature and positive (constructive) ways, and on other occasions, in more negative (destructive) ways. The book clarifies, for each life path, what our lives can look like when we’re working more in the positive, or more in the negative.

Do some life paths represent a more evolved soul?

DM:  Some systems of numerology posit that certain life paths (or final birth number) point to a more evolved (older) soul.  But the Life Purpose System has no such implications. Rather than conjecture about such ideas, it would seem more practical to study and embody the spiritual laws that help anyone to face the challenges of daily life in a more evolved and resourceful manner. Ultimately, it is not merely the so-called age of our soul, but rather our actions, moment to moment, that shape the quality of our lives.

How is this system similar to or different from the numerology systems in other books on the topic?

DM: The ancient Hebrews, Chinese, Mayans and Aztecs, as well as Islamic cultures each had its own calendar and numerological systems. And each system differs considerably in how the birth numbers are calculated and interpreted. The Life You Were Born to Live had become a central resource work for many numerologists (and psychologists and intuitive coaches) due to both its accuracy and articulation of elements not included in any other texts, ancient or modern, including the spiritual laws key to each path.

Based on correspondence and feedback I’ve read and received, I can only state that the information in this book has helped to clarify and enhance, and maybe even change, the lives of its readers — the same way my life was changed decades ago in that single session with the mentor who introduced me to the Life Purpose System.

Can the Life Purpose System guide me in finding the most suitable career?

The clearest answer is yes. And no.

Yes in the sense that the drives and qualities of a given birth number may point toward certain types of work. For example, those with a 7 in their birth number may thrive in solitude, doing research; those with a 1 or double-1 may find creative work especially fulfilling; those with a 2 or 4 may enjoy analytical work, and so forth. So the birth number does at least point to general kinds of careers (but not necessarily a specific one).

That said, the birth number and life path more accurately indicates the approach (challenges and strengths) that each individual may bring toany career. In my own research, I found a wide variety of life paths excelling in every career or sport or other pursuit. We bring the resources not only of our life path, but also capacities developed through our education, experience and insight.

Understanding our own life path (and that of others) brings more compassion for self and others, even as the information helps us to navigate the waters of everyday life — until ultimately, we transcend all systems. And what lies beyond, is beyond description.

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The Life You Were Born to Live (Revised 25th Anniversary Edition): A Guide to Finding Your Life Purpose

Dan Millman Category: Personal Growth / Psychology

Pub. Date: August 14, 2018 Price: $19.95 / Trade Paper Pages: 504 ISBN: 978-1-932073-75-1

Distributed by Publishers Group West

What is an addiction? You might think of people becoming hooked on illicit pleasures like narcotics, or the legal but equally addictive smoking habit that is so hard to break. If you take a look at the news media, it seems pretty much any human interest or activity can become an addiction. For example, you’ll find stories about gaming addicts who play their lives away, chocoholics who can’t do without their confectionary, and TV junkieswho devour box sets in a single sitting. You’ll often hear people around you claim they are addicted to foodthey like eating, or they’re hooked on Sudoku. Are these really all addictions, and if so, why has addiction become so prevalent?

Addiction or dependence?

There are both physiological and psychological aspects ofwhat we commonly call addiction. There are physical changes in the body chemistry of an addicted person that can be detected when they are examined and tested. These changes are part of what makes withdrawal effects so hard to deal with, as they can involve nausea, pain, and muscle spasms during the period where the body is readjusting its chemical balance. Psychological dependence can arise even if there are no physical changes, as a person arrives at a point where they can’t get through the day without whatever it is they are addicted to. Addictions and dependencies all have psychological aspects, and some have physiological ones as well, so the old understanding that addiction was physical and dependency was psychological has become less well-defined. In the medical world, dependency is now used to describe a state where a person struggles to cope with life unless they can indulge their desires, whereas addiction is the state where the desire has become the sole focus of a person’s existence.

Most addictions are dependencies

When you understand what true addiction is, it’s clear that most of the activities and interests we call addictions are dependencies, and in many cases not even as serious as to warrant that term either. They might more correctly be seen as intense interests or maybe obsessions to a degree, but they won’t cause the life-altering problems that full-blown addiction or serious dependency would. Having said that,there are still worryingly high numbers of dependants and addicts in the modern world. Lives are being seriously affected, and in many cases ruined or lost because of addiction and dependence, yet these are illnesses that could be avoided if we could prevent the behaviors that lead to addiction and dependency getting started.

Physical and psychological factors in addiction

If you take smoking as an example, you can see how these habits take hold of people, even when they know that it will cause them harm. Teenagers are going through a process of dramatic change, and part of this shift involves the separation of child and parent to prepare the child for life as an adult. That’s one of the reasons teens can be rebellious, and undertake risky behaviors. Young people often come under pressure from their peers to prove they belong, or that they’re tough and independent, and one way to do this is to smoke cigarettes. They’re forbidden and dangerous, and thus have a fascinating allure for young people. By the time they have matured enough to realizethat smoking is affecting their health and costing them a lot of money, they have become physically hooked as well as psychologically requiring the maintenance of the smoking ritual.

Psychological dependencies

For addictions and dependencies that lack such a direct physical effect, the main motivation is that these are benign activities that are a perfectly normal part of life. In most people, participating in them leads to no harmful side effects; for instance, having a flutter on the races now and again or placing a bet on who you think will win the Superbowl or the World Series is a harmless bit of fun. You can take a trip to Vegas and play poker, or have a binge on the slot machines and enjoy a fantastic time with your friends, and never think about gambling once you return home. But for some people, the urge to place bets becomes a gambling addiction, taking over their lives to such an extent that they can become seriously in debt and have been known to steal from friends and family, and even defraud their employers to feed their addiction. So what is the difference between the people who can take it or leave it, and those who become problem gamblers?

Why are some people more susceptible to addiction than others?

This is the $64,000 question! If it were possible to isolate a specific cause for an individual’s problem with addictive behaviors, then maybe it would lead to therapies that would effectively prevent or treat those who are prone to addiction. For example, if a gene could be isolated that caused addiction,then therapy could be developed to reprogram or replace the undesirable gene. However, the idea that gene therapy could cure all of humanity’s problems is far too simplistic compared to the reality of how genes work. There has been extensive research performed over the years to try and get to the root of the issue, but it seems there could be a combination of factors combining in certain individuals that make them predisposed to addiction. People who have experienced a difficult or traumatic upbringing are often more susceptible to dependencies, which can take many forms, including being in a co-dependent relationship. It has been argued that the reduction in spirituality amongst western societies has also contributed to the increase in addiction. There could be some validity to the theory that lacking a religious or spiritual belief leaves a gap in your life that then gets filled with hedonistic pleasures.

The allure of escapism can be a very powerful temptation when you are having problems coping with life, or you’re looking for a way to relieve stress or have some fun. If the rewards – be they physical, psychological, or both – become more satisfying than the rest of your life, you could be in danger of retreating into this world and losing yourself to your habit.

1. What is your book about and why did you write it?

“Let Go Of Emotional Overeating and Love Your Food: A Five Point Plan for Success” is meant to help those who’d love to eat what they like yet be able to stop just at the point of satisfaction without overeating. By learning the difference between healthy eating (which is eating for pleasure and the satisfaction of hunger) and emotionally overeating (eating to distract ourselves from painful thoughts and feelings ), we can learn to eat in a healthier more satisfying way. What’s equally important is to learn to successfully cope with stress away from the table, so we can actually find more pleasure in and more control of, not only our eating experiences, but our lives, as well.

I wrote the book because as a Columbia University trained psychotherapist, with twenty years of experience and a former emotional overeater, this was good news that had taken me half a lifetime to learn. I’m excited about being able to share this message more widely to help even more people than my practice alone would permit.

2. What advice would you have for someone who uses food as a way to celebrate in life?

For many of us, even “positive” changes in our lives, such as promotions, weddings, vacations, etc., can be stressful. Why? Because change of any kind can bring new challenges and expectations and if you’re hard on yourself the pressure may be hard to bear. Even if you’re given a wonderful surprise party — voila! There you are with family and friends you may not have seen in years and now you may feel you’re expected to be the “perfect” host! Change of any kind can be stressful and sadly emotional eaters will utilize food as an escape from that stress rather than savoring what they eat and stopping just at the point of satisfaction.

3. What advice would you have for people who want to eat healthy, but are faced with social or professional pressure to eat unhealthy at social or work lunches or dinners?

There’s almost always a way to eat healthily. Choosing small portions of well-balanced foods and slowly sitting as you savor your choices is always a possibility. Filling up on salads or broth-based soups as a start, and then taking a smaller portion of foods that are less nutritious and more calorie dense is something I’ve learned to do and many nutritionists advise.

Remember you can take control! Those who dare to judge or criticize what you do or don’t eat probably have issues of their own! Brush it off lightly and politely and change the subject.

4. How can we balance eating healthy with still allowing ourselves to enjoy foods that taste good?

This approach is about learning to savor small portions of all the foods we love and expanding that list to include as many typically “healthy” foods as we can. The beauty about learning to eat intuitively, rather than being trapped by the concept of dieting, is that when all foods are allowed we are free to enjoy what we like in small amounts. We know we can do the same thing again whenever we choose without feeling that we’ve “broken our diet,” which can cause self-condemnation, stress, and guess what? The urge to emotionally overeat!

5. Why do you think that foods that taste good are often unhealthy for us?

I respectfully disagree. Most of the foods I love would be classified by most nutritionists as healthy. But when we feel that many foods are “forbidden” — I.e chocolate — we tend to crave those foods, and unfortunately abuse them by eating too much, almost unwittingly, when they’re available.

Instead of a huge Hershey Bar, I now savor one small piece of Godiva chocolate, which I eat slowly, feeling in the moment, enjoying its scent, taste and texture.

6. What are your top 5 foods you would recommend people eat to let go of emotional overeating?

My approach, as a practicing psychotherapist, is to help people successfully cope with stress away from the table so that they are free to relax, savor their food and eat whatever they like, yet stop just at the point of satisfaction. It’s important that we learn to truly accept ourselves, utilizing techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to recognize negative thoughts, and compassionately respond to those so we can truly nurture ourselves. Exercise (finding fun ways to move) and other healthy habits also help.

This is a lifestyle change and one that’s pleasurable, not a matter of eating the right or wrong foods!

7. Why should we let go of our love of food if food brings pleasure and joy into our life?

We shouldn’t! The whole point of the book is that when we truly love and accept ourselves, we can love our lives and our food even more. This new type of eating, in an atmosphere of relaxation and self-acceptance is what brings real control.

Only when we feel good about ourselves are we free to relax, be in the moment, savor our food and stop ourselves from overeating.

8. Anything else we haven’t covered?

I’m so glad to be able to share this joyous message, and appreciate your interest.

Many more tips on how to do everything we mentioned above — eating mindfully, successfully handling stress, coping with challenging eating situations with friends and family, are provided in the book in an easy to remember and doable way.

About the Author:
Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, is the author of Let Go Of Emotional Overeating and Love Your Food: A Five Point Plan for Success (Rowman and Littlefield Publishers; September 2018).

Ms. Englander has been a licensed psychotherapist for over twenty years. She trained at Columbia University and is currently in private practice in North Palm Beach, Florida where she specializes in treating persons coping with eating disorders, relationship issues, depression, anxiety, grief and stress (personal and work-related). Love Your Food® is her non–dieting, psychologically-oriented program for compulsive overeaters in which clients learn to eat whatever they like, but stop just at the point of satisfaction without overeating.

Ms. Englander developed many of her theories about stress management while working at Cancer Care, Inc. where she counseled thousands of patients and families dealing with advanced cancer. She subsequently developed stress management programs for use in hospitals, law firms, and other settings. As Director of Community Education at the Holliswood Hospital, a private psychiatric hospital in New York City, which was renowned for its eating disorders program, her responsibilities included the production of educational seminars, often attended by audiences of as many as 500 professionals, including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, psychiatric nurses and guidance counselors.

Aside from her professional training and experience, Ms. Englander is also personally familiar with the issue of eating disorders, as she is a former compulsive overeater. For more information, please visit https://arleneenglander.com.

By Jackie Lapin

John E. Fetzer found as much joy in his quest for spiritual enrichment as he did in the wealth he acquired building a financial empire that ultimately made him the sole owner of the Detroit Tigers from 1961 to 1983 and put him on Forbes Magazine’s list of 400 richest Americans.

And that may be the most valuable lesson that he offers us today. He maintained that these two were not mutually exclusive and, in fact, his connection to a higher consciousness was integral to his success building wealth from the foundation of his radio and TV stations, to his investment in the burgeoning cable television industry and to his culminating acquisition of the Tigers.

As related in the new biography John E. Fetzer and the Quest for the New Age, author Brian C. Wilson shows how Fetzer was a forerunner of the New Age Movement, exploring multiple paths to find true “freedom of the spirit” via the insights of emerging spiritual leaders, movements and approaches – Eastern and Western – including Theosophy, Freemasonry, UFOlogy, parapsychology and Buddhism, among others.

After reading this revealing book, I believe the conclusions that Fetzer came to during his quest — and personally lived by — provide valuable guidance to anyone seeking to accelerate his or her own business growth and wealth.

Here are a few tenets that I think can be gleaned from the John E. Fetzer playbook of success:

* “Money is energy,” he often said. For Fetzer, spirituality was a recognition that all is spirit, which he conceptualized as an eternal, conscious energy that, if one were open to it, would inevitably lead one back to the “great central source.” Everything consists of this energy-even money. And if one understands this connection and taps into it psychically, then wealth and success, he believed, were within one’s grasp. This meant to him that money was to be used in the service of good, since business success and wealth could only be spiritually uplifting if used for love and service. Although immensely wealthy, Fetzer and his wife Rhea always lived very frugally, spending most of their lives in a modest home in a middle-class Kalamazoo neighborhood. For Fetzer, wealth was not for self-aggrandizement, which would have embarrassed him, but rather for the pursuit of a spiritual mission in service to the world. John’s approach was to serve first, and then money came back to him.

* Fetzer believed in Karma, and in resolving Karma in order to reach a higher order of consciousness as one passes through the many lives of one’s soul ascension. Thus, he sought to refrain from selfish, ego-driven actions that would have negative repercussions — not only in this life, but in future lives. John’s approach was to rein in his ego, seek equitable solutions for all, be generous with his workforce and partners, do his best and leave a wake of goodwill.

* Fetzer trusted a higher intelligence in guiding him to good business decisions. He meditated, contemplated and sought to gain insights that he felt came directly from source. And when he needed more guidance in plotting his business strategies, he used pendulums, astrology, Tarot cards, and even the Ouija Board. Or, he would turn to trusted mediums, psychic advisors, dowsers and channelers. He found multiple ways to tap into the infinite intelligence. And he could point to specific situations which paid off handsomely. John trusted the Universe to provide answers, listened to his intuition, and tapped multiple sources for his answers.

* Fetzer was still seeking to learn, grow and unravel more of the Universe’s mysteries, even as he approached his 9th decade. He never stopped trying to raise his consciousness. And in order to bring others along to a more advanced state of consciousness, so that they, too, could experience the love, compassion, and spiritual connection that creates abundance and peace, he funded some of the seminal spiritual/paranormal/scientific research of the 70s and 80s, to validate the existence of a higher power that can change our lives vibrationally. John never stopped questing, because it kept him vital–engaged in life and business.

* Fetzer was a believer in “oneness,” that we are all one unified force with the source of creation. So he lived by the “Golden Rule,” because he knew that he was connected to each and every one he encountered. He dealt with people with a fair and even hand. He brought respect to the negotiating table. He was beloved by his players on the Tigers and the employees in his company. John sought the good in all, refrained from gossip or unkind words, treated his employees with love and regard, dealt in good faith and was a positive light wherever he went.

* For Fetzer, leaving a legacy for the world was paramount. In the 1980s, when Fetzer was beginning to wind down his business activities and sell off his holdings, including the Detroit Tigers, he used his fortune to endow the organizations that would carry his mission forward, to improve “the human and cosmic condition” through the advancement of the spiritualized science that he felt was so necessary for global transformation, and to support the programs that facilitate building a spiritual foundation for a more inclusive, loving, peaceful world. The lesson here is to weigh what legacy you can leave for the world – and while it may not be funded by great wealth – it can be the fruits of your time, efforts and gifts from which others can enjoy and prosper in the future.

For those who are seeking validation that business success and enlightenment can actually work hand-in-hand, Fetzer’s extraordinary life stands as evidence.

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Jackie Lapin, author, speaker and publicist, connects conscious leaders with conscious media and speaking opportunities.

Brian C. Wilson, PhD, is the author of John E. Fetzer and the Quest for the New Age. He is a professor of American religious history in the Department of Comparative Religion at Western Michigan University. To download a FREE CHAPTER of his book and learn more about how John E. Fetzer explored the interconnectedness between science
and spirituality, visit www.infinitepotential.com